¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you could be another man or woman for a day, who would you choose to become?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Çö
2022-08-09 833

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I would like to become Bill Gates for a day. He is known as the world's second richest man. By his uncountable enormous money, I would like to buy everything I wanted to get. For example, I could dress up with luxury clothes and accessories. While traveling around the world and spending a lot of money, everyone I meet will know my value and treat me preciously or at least say something like "It's a great honor to meet you". The only thing I should do is to enjoy my popularity. I could also feel the feeling of living with an extraordinary brain, and learn lots of things from genius thinking process that Bill Gates has. Also, Bill Gates will have no lack of speaking English, which is my weekness. Living as a rich, honorable, and genius for a day will be very nice experience.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Olivia!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I would like to become Bill Gates for a day. 

>> CORRECT!


He is known as the world's second richest man. 

>> CORRECT!

By his uncountable enormous money, I would like to buy everything I wanted to get. 

>> CORRECT!

For example, I could dress up with luxury clothes and accessories. 

>> CORRECT!

While traveling around the world and spending a lot of money, everyone I meet will know my value and treat me preciously or at least say something like "It's a great honor to meet you". 

>> While traveling around the world and spending a lot of money, everyone I meet will know my value and treat me preciously or at least say something like, "It's a great honor to meet you". 

The only thing I should do is to enjoy my popularity. 

>> CORRECT!

I could also feel the feeling of living with an extraordinary brain, and learn lots of things from genius thinking process that Bill Gates has. 

>> I could also feel the feeling of living with an extraordinary brain, and learn lots of things from the genius thinking process that Bill Gates has. 

Also, Bill Gates will have no lack of speaking English, which is my weekness. 

>> Also, Bill Gates will have no lack in speaking English, which is my weakness. 

Living as a rich, honorable, and genius for a day will be very nice experience.

>> Living as a rich, honorable, and genius for a day will be a very nice experience.



-------------PLEASE LIMIT YOUR ANSWER TO 3-5 SENTENCES ONLY NEXT TIME, THANK YOU!--------------------

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125274 Koreans are lost phone and wallet. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-02 105
125273 What Korean food will you not recommend and why? Àå*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-02 635
125272 31.Jan.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-02 1
125271 Wednesday, 1st of Februay ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-02 657
125270 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-02 944
125269 2023-2/1 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 522
125268 homework3 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 677
125267 To you, what is a memorable movie? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 2
125266 I think ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 558
125265 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 625
125264 The most important thing ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 1626
125263 Do you think you can be objective when it comes to issues that... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 2
125262 Describe the best trip you have ever been on. What happened? Why... ¼Û*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 2
125261 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 529
125260 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 690
125259 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 546
125258 How do you motivate yourself when you feel tired of everything? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 673
125257 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 965
125256 homework ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 1058
125255 IELTS book1 54p - Question1 / IELTS one sentence of writing essay ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-01 691

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04