¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you could be another man or woman for a day, who would you choose to become?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Çö
2022-08-09 852

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I would like to become Bill Gates for a day. He is known as the world's second richest man. By his uncountable enormous money, I would like to buy everything I wanted to get. For example, I could dress up with luxury clothes and accessories. While traveling around the world and spending a lot of money, everyone I meet will know my value and treat me preciously or at least say something like "It's a great honor to meet you". The only thing I should do is to enjoy my popularity. I could also feel the feeling of living with an extraordinary brain, and learn lots of things from genius thinking process that Bill Gates has. Also, Bill Gates will have no lack of speaking English, which is my weekness. Living as a rich, honorable, and genius for a day will be very nice experience.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Olivia!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I would like to become Bill Gates for a day. 

>> CORRECT!


He is known as the world's second richest man. 

>> CORRECT!

By his uncountable enormous money, I would like to buy everything I wanted to get. 

>> CORRECT!

For example, I could dress up with luxury clothes and accessories. 

>> CORRECT!

While traveling around the world and spending a lot of money, everyone I meet will know my value and treat me preciously or at least say something like "It's a great honor to meet you". 

>> While traveling around the world and spending a lot of money, everyone I meet will know my value and treat me preciously or at least say something like, "It's a great honor to meet you". 

The only thing I should do is to enjoy my popularity. 

>> CORRECT!

I could also feel the feeling of living with an extraordinary brain, and learn lots of things from genius thinking process that Bill Gates has. 

>> I could also feel the feeling of living with an extraordinary brain, and learn lots of things from the genius thinking process that Bill Gates has. 

Also, Bill Gates will have no lack of speaking English, which is my weekness. 

>> Also, Bill Gates will have no lack in speaking English, which is my weakness. 

Living as a rich, honorable, and genius for a day will be very nice experience.

>> Living as a rich, honorable, and genius for a day will be a very nice experience.



-------------PLEASE LIMIT YOUR ANSWER TO 3-5 SENTENCES ONLY NEXT TIME, THANK YOU!--------------------

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125697 Busiest day ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 740
125696 The importance of greetings ¹é*¾ð ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 0
125695 What is the most interesting city to visit in your country? Àå*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 768
125694 Homework from the Feedback (13) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 858
125693 homework ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 623
125692 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 1
125691 When I am alone ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 1230
125690 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 555
125689 2023-2/15 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 2201
125688 What do you do when you have trouble sleeping? ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 740
125687 We have to practice how to read efficiently ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 0
125686 homework 02.15 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 1070
125685 What\'s your thought on the death penalty as punishment for a... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 2
125684 Peer pressure is just a fact of life. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 1346
125683 HOMEWORK È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 5
125682 homework. ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 1736
125681 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 1606
125680 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 1942
125679 homework ½Å*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 3
125678 letter ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04