¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-08-08 906

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi, Donna.
In Korea, now it's pouring just like the word means.
The village near my clinic was full of water.
On my way to home, I was so scared, because driving seemed to be too dangerous.
Fortunately, I came home safely, and then I can do my homework now.
I am worried about tomorrow for going to work.
The broadcast said tomorrow will be worse than today.
Good luck to me and my country.
Today's homework is about sports.
Sports give us mental recharging as well as physical health.
I like to do many sports such as tennis, table tennis, badminton, basketball, swim, running and so on.
And I like to watch a baseball and football.
Recently, I wish I could learn a golf.
However, as you know it, I can't afford to do that.
Meanwhile, I want to swim with my first daughter.
Until recent days, she have learned swim from the swimming center, and she is getting better.
I can swim better than her now, but someday this situation will be changed.
I am so tired, so now I am going to sleep.
Good night.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Dr. Kim!

It is sad to hear about your flooding situation in your place and the heavy rains and thunderstorms in your country. I have seen the news in California, USA where the amount of six months of rain flooded a famous park and submerged so many cars. In this case, when the worse gets to worst, you better leave your car and seek for a higher ground. I hope this never happens to you. Here in the Philippines, it can be a usual scenario in Manila. In short, be safe and vigilant on the road.

Now, sports teach us discipline, camaraderie, teamwork, speed, and strength. When we play one, it means we had the time to train for so many painstaking hours to be good at a sport. In your case, you have tried so many. Thus, that is quite impressive. I hope that you can find more time to swim with your daughter and enjoy being better at this sport.

You used some new expressions here on your composition. Thank you for doing your best to express your thoughts and current situation through this writing exercise. Kindly go over the other grammar details of my suggestion. 

See you in a few!

-T. Donna~

Hi, Donna.
>> Correct!

In Korea, now it's pouring just like the word means.
>> In Korea, now it's pouring just like what the word means.

The village near my clinic was full of water.
>> Correct!

On my way to home, I was so scared, because driving seemed to be too dangerous.
>> Correct!

Fortunately, I came home safely, and then I can do my homework now.
>> Correct!

I am worried about tomorrow for going to work.
>> I am worried about tomorrow when I go to work.

The broadcast said tomorrow will be worse than today.
>> Correct!

Good luck to me and my country.
>> Correct!

Today's homework is about sports.
>> Correct!

Sports give us mental recharging as well as physical health.
>> Sports gives us mental recharging as well as physical health.
Or: Sports recharges us mentall as well as physically.

I like to do many sports such as tennis, table tennis, badminton, basketball, swim, running and so on.
>> I like to do many sports such as tennis, table tennis, badminton, basketball, swimming, running and so on.

And I like to watch a baseball and football.
>> And I like to watch baseball and football.

Recently, I wish I could learn a golf.
>> Correct!

However, as you know it, I can't afford to do that.
>> Correct!

Meanwhile, I want to swim with my first daughter.
>> Correct!

Until recent days, she have learned swim from the swimming center, and she is getting better.
>> (These days/ Recently), she learned to swim from the swimming center, and she is getting better.

I can swim better than her now, but someday this situation will be changed.
>> I can swim better than her now, but someday this situation will change.

I am so tired, so now I am going to sleep.
>> Correct!

Good night.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118057 Do you think doctors are responsible in educating their patients... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 2
118056 Did you enjoy your time as a student? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 438
118055 4/6 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 185
118054 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 133
118053 What\'s the best thing about your parents? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 386
118052 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 1
118051 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 3
118050 Why people do the cyberbullying ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 2
118049 HOMEWORK ¹è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 289
118048 Use each word in a sentence. ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 144
118047 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 188
118046 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 1
118045 Where is the most amazing place you have been? Why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 195
118044 The Social Norms ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 2
118043 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 123
118042 Do you think people feel different when they wear different... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 3
118041 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 315
118040 Do you think fashion is important for people\'s lives? Why or... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 151
118039 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 3
118038 Do you think fashion is important for people\'s lives? Why or... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04