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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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Homework

작성자: 김*우
2022-08-08 567

회원님의 영작문

Hi, Donna.
In Korea, now it's pouring just like the word means.
The village near my clinic was full of water.
On my way to home, I was so scared, because driving seemed to be too dangerous.
Fortunately, I came home safely, and then I can do my homework now.
I am worried about tomorrow for going to work.
The broadcast said tomorrow will be worse than today.
Good luck to me and my country.
Today's homework is about sports.
Sports give us mental recharging as well as physical health.
I like to do many sports such as tennis, table tennis, badminton, basketball, swim, running and so on.
And I like to watch a baseball and football.
Recently, I wish I could learn a golf.
However, as you know it, I can't afford to do that.
Meanwhile, I want to swim with my first daughter.
Until recent days, she have learned swim from the swimming center, and she is getting better.
I can swim better than her now, but someday this situation will be changed.
I am so tired, so now I am going to sleep.
Good night.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Dr. Kim!

It is sad to hear about your flooding situation in your place and the heavy rains and thunderstorms in your country. I have seen the news in California, USA where the amount of six months of rain flooded a famous park and submerged so many cars. In this case, when the worse gets to worst, you better leave your car and seek for a higher ground. I hope this never happens to you. Here in the Philippines, it can be a usual scenario in Manila. In short, be safe and vigilant on the road.

Now, sports teach us discipline, camaraderie, teamwork, speed, and strength. When we play one, it means we had the time to train for so many painstaking hours to be good at a sport. In your case, you have tried so many. Thus, that is quite impressive. I hope that you can find more time to swim with your daughter and enjoy being better at this sport.

You used some new expressions here on your composition. Thank you for doing your best to express your thoughts and current situation through this writing exercise. Kindly go over the other grammar details of my suggestion. 

See you in a few!

-T. Donna~

Hi, Donna.
>> Correct!

In Korea, now it's pouring just like the word means.
>> In Korea, now it's pouring just like what the word means.

The village near my clinic was full of water.
>> Correct!

On my way to home, I was so scared, because driving seemed to be too dangerous.
>> Correct!

Fortunately, I came home safely, and then I can do my homework now.
>> Correct!

I am worried about tomorrow for going to work.
>> I am worried about tomorrow when I go to work.

The broadcast said tomorrow will be worse than today.
>> Correct!

Good luck to me and my country.
>> Correct!

Today's homework is about sports.
>> Correct!

Sports give us mental recharging as well as physical health.
>> Sports gives us mental recharging as well as physical health.
Or: Sports recharges us mentall as well as physically.

I like to do many sports such as tennis, table tennis, badminton, basketball, swim, running and so on.
>> I like to do many sports such as tennis, table tennis, badminton, basketball, swimming, running and so on.

And I like to watch a baseball and football.
>> And I like to watch baseball and football.

Recently, I wish I could learn a golf.
>> Correct!

However, as you know it, I can't afford to do that.
>> Correct!

Meanwhile, I want to swim with my first daughter.
>> Correct!

Until recent days, she have learned swim from the swimming center, and she is getting better.
>> (These days/ Recently), she learned to swim from the swimming center, and she is getting better.

I can swim better than her now, but someday this situation will be changed.
>> I can swim better than her now, but someday this situation will change.

I am so tired, so now I am going to sleep.
>> Correct!

Good night.
>> Correct!
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첨삭이 가능하며,

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