¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-08-08 575

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi, Donna.
In Korea, now it's pouring just like the word means.
The village near my clinic was full of water.
On my way to home, I was so scared, because driving seemed to be too dangerous.
Fortunately, I came home safely, and then I can do my homework now.
I am worried about tomorrow for going to work.
The broadcast said tomorrow will be worse than today.
Good luck to me and my country.
Today's homework is about sports.
Sports give us mental recharging as well as physical health.
I like to do many sports such as tennis, table tennis, badminton, basketball, swim, running and so on.
And I like to watch a baseball and football.
Recently, I wish I could learn a golf.
However, as you know it, I can't afford to do that.
Meanwhile, I want to swim with my first daughter.
Until recent days, she have learned swim from the swimming center, and she is getting better.
I can swim better than her now, but someday this situation will be changed.
I am so tired, so now I am going to sleep.
Good night.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Dr. Kim!

It is sad to hear about your flooding situation in your place and the heavy rains and thunderstorms in your country. I have seen the news in California, USA where the amount of six months of rain flooded a famous park and submerged so many cars. In this case, when the worse gets to worst, you better leave your car and seek for a higher ground. I hope this never happens to you. Here in the Philippines, it can be a usual scenario in Manila. In short, be safe and vigilant on the road.

Now, sports teach us discipline, camaraderie, teamwork, speed, and strength. When we play one, it means we had the time to train for so many painstaking hours to be good at a sport. In your case, you have tried so many. Thus, that is quite impressive. I hope that you can find more time to swim with your daughter and enjoy being better at this sport.

You used some new expressions here on your composition. Thank you for doing your best to express your thoughts and current situation through this writing exercise. Kindly go over the other grammar details of my suggestion. 

See you in a few!

-T. Donna~

Hi, Donna.
>> Correct!

In Korea, now it's pouring just like the word means.
>> In Korea, now it's pouring just like what the word means.

The village near my clinic was full of water.
>> Correct!

On my way to home, I was so scared, because driving seemed to be too dangerous.
>> Correct!

Fortunately, I came home safely, and then I can do my homework now.
>> Correct!

I am worried about tomorrow for going to work.
>> I am worried about tomorrow when I go to work.

The broadcast said tomorrow will be worse than today.
>> Correct!

Good luck to me and my country.
>> Correct!

Today's homework is about sports.
>> Correct!

Sports give us mental recharging as well as physical health.
>> Sports gives us mental recharging as well as physical health.
Or: Sports recharges us mentall as well as physically.

I like to do many sports such as tennis, table tennis, badminton, basketball, swim, running and so on.
>> I like to do many sports such as tennis, table tennis, badminton, basketball, swimming, running and so on.

And I like to watch a baseball and football.
>> And I like to watch baseball and football.

Recently, I wish I could learn a golf.
>> Correct!

However, as you know it, I can't afford to do that.
>> Correct!

Meanwhile, I want to swim with my first daughter.
>> Correct!

Until recent days, she have learned swim from the swimming center, and she is getting better.
>> (These days/ Recently), she learned to swim from the swimming center, and she is getting better.

I can swim better than her now, but someday this situation will be changed.
>> I can swim better than her now, but someday this situation will change.

I am so tired, so now I am going to sleep.
>> Correct!

Good night.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122254 Why do you want to learn other languages? What are the benefits... ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 1831
122253 09.07.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 3
122252 What nonverbal action is offensive to you? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 0
122251 How did you meet your best friend? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 3
122250 Some artworks can cause a fortune. Do you think the value of... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 2
122249 Making Kimchichigae Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 0
122248 9/7 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 1767
122247 How would you describe a healthy diet? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 1661
122246 Home ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1988
122245 People often say: ¡°It¡¯s easy to tell when politicians lie -... Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1837
122244 9/7 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1928
122243 What¡¯s the latest thing you¡¯ve had an interest in? ÀÌ*Å ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1296
122242 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1291
122241 Do you think there are aliens somewhere in the universe? What do... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1193
122240 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1377
122239 Cheating Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1
122238 How can you tell if a person is confident? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1159
122237 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1129
122236 My unforgettable festival experience ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1413
122235 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 2222

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04