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How can Korean students prevent stress from all the pressure in school?

작성자: 백*원
2022-08-08 539

회원님의 영작문

How can Korean students prevent stress from all the pressure in school?

There are a lot of high school students being stressful because of their admission to a university. It’s because graduate a university is important to get some employed. Also it is important to go to a university with high level. It could makes us a better job rather than low level university. So they have to prepare it perfectly. Then how can they prevent their stress? These are the ways I did it myself. I usually go to the market in front of school with my friends and also walk around the school after the class or lunch time. Walking anywhere is very helpful to overcome any stress. It makes us less sleepy and helps to concentrate on study.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Harry. 
Thank you for writing this very nice essay and being honest about the situation of students in your country. 
It is indeed very crucial to choose the right university and prepare well to get admitted as a student in it. 
I think your technique is relieving the stress from school is very effective. 
In my case, when I am stressed from school, I usually sleep so I could rest my body and mind. It also helps a lot. 
I hope you're having a wonderful afternoon. ^^
See you again on Wednesday. :)
~Teacher Charry

There are a lot of high school students being stressful because of their admission to a university. 
>> There are a lot of high school students being stressed because of their admission to a university. 
It’s because graduate a university is important to get some employed. 
>> It’s because graduating from a university is important to get employed. 
Also it is important to go to a university with high level. 
>> Also, it is important to go to a top-tier university. 
It could makes us a better job rather than low level university. 
>> It could help us get a better job as compared to graduating from universities which are not top-tier. 
So they have to prepare it perfectly. 
>> So they have to prepare for it perfectly. 
Then how can they prevent their stress? 
>> CORRECT!
These are the ways I did it myself. 
>> These are the ways that I did for myself. 
I usually go to the market in front of school with my friends and also walk around the school after the class or lunch time. 
>> I usually went to the market in front of my school with my friends and also walked around the school after the class or at lunch time.
Walking anywhere is very helpful to overcome any stress. 
>> CORRECT!
It makes us less sleepy and helps to concentrate on study.
>> It makes us less sleepy and helps to concentrate on studying.
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