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Homework

작성자: 김*우
2022-08-05 590

회원님의 영작문

Hello, Donna!
I went through a complicated day.
First, some doctor of our franchise visited my clinic and learned from me all day.
Second, Including me, five doctors discussed new business item.
Maybe we'll buy some clinic and run together.
And the last one is to meet my high school friends.
We've met after five years, we were very happy, and had a great time with talking our high school days and other friends.
Back to my homework, as you know it, I love to take a rest.
Hence, I really want to spend next vacation with a break.
I don't want any activities like fishing, climbing, and long walking.
However, it will be impossible, I guess.
Because, I have a lovely family and they always like to do something.
So, we will perhaps have some interesting activities and also peaceful resting.
As I told you, we have a plan to travel Hawaii this winter.
I know it's far from here nontheless, I heard that it has beautiful landscapes and very comfortable hotels.
I look forward to it.
Catch you soon.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Dr. Kim!

My hunch was right, it was another busy day for you yesterday. You have to seize these opportunities and make the best out of them. I wish you good luck to your new business venture. Well, to cap your day, spending time with your high school friends was the cherry on top of your business meetings. Your work and life balance is doing so well.

You mentioned Hawaii in class a month ago and the winter season is just a few months from now. After a very long while of just staying in our countries due to COVID, it is about time that we explore the world once again. With your lovely wife and daughters, it's definitely a fun and fantastic one. So, lock and load in a few more months.

Your homework answer was systematic and organized in its ideas. Take note of the correct articles like 'a' or 'the' as well as the series of nouns and the appropriate pronouns especiall in long sentences. Overall, superb job!

Thanks and see you!

-T. Donna~

Hello, Donna!
>> Correct!

I went through a complicated day.
>> Correct!

First, some doctor of our franchise visited my clinic and learned from me all day.
>> First, some doctors from our franchise visited my clinic and learned from me all day.

Second, Including me, five doctors discussed new business item.
>> Second, including me, five doctors discussed a new business item.
Or: Second, five doctors including me, discussed a new business item.

Maybe we'll buy some clinic and run together.
>>  Maybe we'll buy some clinic and run it together.

And the last one is to meet my high school friends.
>> Correct!

We've met after five years, we were very happy, and had a great time with talking our high school days and other friends.
>> We've met after five years, we were very happy, and had a great time talking about our high school days and the other friends.

Back to my homework, as you know it, I love to take a rest.
>> Correct!

Hence, I really want to spend next vacation with a break.
>> Hence, I really want to spend the next vacation (with a break/ taking a break).

I don't want any activities like fishing, climbing, and long walking.
>> I don't want any activities like fishing, climbing, and a long walk.

However, it will be impossible, I guess.
>> Correct!

Because, I have a lovely family and they always like to do something.
>> Correct!
Or: This is because I have a lovely family and they always like to do something.

So, we will perhaps have some interesting activities and also peaceful resting.
>> So, we will perhaps have some interesting activities and also a peaceful rest.

As I told you, we have a plan to travel Hawaii this winter.
>> As I told you, we have a plan to travel to Hawaii this winter.

I know it's far from here nontheless, I heard that it has beautiful landscapes and very comfortable hotels.
>> Correct!

I look forward to it.
>> Correct!

Catch you soon.
>> Correct!
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