¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why do you think that young people like you should travel?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±¸*¿ì
2022-08-04 568

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that young people like me should travel because young people have curious about other country's traditional things and activities. If I go to abroad,I want to enjoy that country's weather and games. As young people,they can enjoy more travel and more activities. Because they know to play activity more.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning Daisy!
You finally figured out where to write your homework! Good job for that,
Kindly check on those corrected sentences for the improvement of your English skill. Have fun!
See you later in class!
T.  Aki~
I think that young people like me should travel because young people have curious about other country's traditional things and activities.
>>> I think that young people like me should travel because young people have curious about other countries' traditional things and activities.

If I go to abroad,I want to enjoy that country's weather and games. 
>>> If I go abroad, I want to enjoy that country's weather and games. 

As young people, they can enjoy more travel and more activities.  Because they know to play activity more.
>> Young people can enjoy traveling more because they know how to do and play different activities.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121820 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1007
121819 How can we develop good habits? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 781
121818 If you could only wear one color for the rest of your life, what... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 767
121817 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 812
121816 What do you do to relax after working hard or experiencing other... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 431
121815 If you could ask your favorite Disney princess a question, what... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 708
121814 What would life be like without your computer? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 514
121813 If a natural disaster hit your town, what would you do? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1306
121812 Have you ever had the experience of being a leader? What did you... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 928
121811 My best friend ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 0
121810 What if a natural disaster hit my town? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 807
121809 What do you think of hunting? Would you eat an animal that you... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 894
121808 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 766
121807 What does it mean when you say, \"We are the architects of our... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 917
121806 How do I value my friendship. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1570
121805 How are your friendships different now than they were when you... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 810
121804 Why I think surrounded by good people is good. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 815
121803 How I relieve stress. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 457
121802 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1
121801 Do you mind if ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04