¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why do you think that young people like you should travel?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±¸*¿ì
2022-08-04 580

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that young people like me should travel because young people have curious about other country's traditional things and activities. If I go to abroad,I want to enjoy that country's weather and games. As young people,they can enjoy more travel and more activities. Because they know to play activity more.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning Daisy!
You finally figured out where to write your homework! Good job for that,
Kindly check on those corrected sentences for the improvement of your English skill. Have fun!
See you later in class!
T.  Aki~
I think that young people like me should travel because young people have curious about other country's traditional things and activities.
>>> I think that young people like me should travel because young people have curious about other countries' traditional things and activities.

If I go to abroad,I want to enjoy that country's weather and games. 
>>> If I go abroad, I want to enjoy that country's weather and games. 

As young people, they can enjoy more travel and more activities.  Because they know to play activity more.
>> Young people can enjoy traveling more because they know how to do and play different activities.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121970 The advice I wanted. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1196
121969 What do you think of having tattoos? Please explain your side. ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1200
121968 Monday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 887
121967 My pet ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1
121966 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 3
121965 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 2
121964 The old people ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 2
121963 Homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 758
121962 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1
121961 Have you ever suffered from eating disorders? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 2
121960 What\'s the most miserable you\'ve been? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1004
121959 Taxis ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 694
121958 8/29 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 2910
121957 What are the harmful and beneficial effects of advertising? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1240
121956 If you\'re a movie actor, would you rather be the hero that... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 986
121955 08.26.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1267
121954 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 679
121953 Do you think that a man and a woman can have a friendship... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 2
121952 If you were to call for a company meeting, how would you do it? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 1003
121951 What do you need to think about before renting a place to live? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 1208

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04