¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some believe that younger family members should be legally responsible for supporting older family m

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*¿ø
2022-08-03 675

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

We should support our older family members only if they took care of us when we were children.
Especially in Korea, a lot of money is needed to raise a child.
Many parents spend more than 760 dollars a month training their children.
Therefore, if their children become an adult, most parents don't have much money to take care of themselves.
That's why I claim that if we got benefits from our parents, we should reward them.
However, if parents don't care for their children when they were children, we don't have to support them.
'Parents should raise their children as well as give birth to them.'
This upper sentence is one of the Korean sayings.
We can't call the people who gave birth to children but didn't raise them, parents.
Recently, I heard the news that celebrities' parents claim their authority to be supported by their children, even though they didn't care for them.
They shouldn't support them, because they just approached them to get a benefit from their children.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Jiwon! Thanks for doing your essay! I was so surprised with your English skills now. You have improved a lot. Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
We should support our older family members only if they took care of us when we were children.
>>> CORRECT
Especially in Korea, a lot of money is needed to raise a child.
>>> CORRECT
Many parents spend more than 760 dollars a month training their children.
>>> CORRECT
Therefore, if their children become an adult, most parents don't have much money to take care of themselves.
>>> CORRECT
That's why I claim that if we got benefits from our parents, we should reward them.
>>> CORRECT
However, if parents don't care for their children when they were children, we don't have to support them.
>>> CORRECT
'Parents should raise their children as well as give birth to them.'
>>> CORRECT
This upper sentence is one of the Korean sayings.
>>> This is one of the Korean sayings.
We can't call the people who gave birth to children but didn't raise them, parents.
>>> CORRECT
Recently, I heard the news that celebrities' parents claim their authority to be supported by their children, even though they didn't care for them.
>>> CORRECT
They shouldn't support them, because they just approached them to get a benefit from their children.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121865 What are the ways to prevent health problems? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1570
121864 Why the goals are important. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 661
121863 8/24 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-24 1341
121862 How important do you think it is to use public transport? ¹Ú*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-24 1027
121861 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-24 783
121860 8/24 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-24 804
121859 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-24 1187
121858 Homwork ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-24 940
121857 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-24 554
121856 Can you talk about a person who has influenced your life? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-24 463
121855 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-24 782
121854 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-24 4
121853 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-24 1598
121852 Have you ever made a purchase only to regret it later? If so,... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-24 843
121851 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-24 1220
121850 What do you think old age is like? How will your life be... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-24 346
121849 Would you consider buying property overseas? ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-24 1
121848 Do you believe that there is an end to any true friendships? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-24 543
121847 Is getting angry an effective way of dealing with problems? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-24 816
121846 What are the characteristics of an ideal leader? What should a... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-08-24 1548

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04