¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*ÁÖ
2022-08-03 989

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK:
Why do we need to have our own hobbies or interests? Answer in a few sentences.

The world is full of fun things. Diverse experiences from hobbies and interests enrich our lives. As you said, It also makes us happy. I think people get energy from others, so we have fun interacting with various people or focusing on something.


Maybe there is an error in my feedback number 6. Could you lookover that?

6. That's not solve the problem, that's become a problem.
>> Correct!
Or: That's not solve the problem, that's become a problem.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hae Ju!

Interesting hobbies energize us. We cannot just do work all the time, hobbies are our creative and fun side. In your case, sharing ideas and digging in deep and useful thoughts is an enjoyable activity.

Anyway, congratulations for all the correct sentences here on your homework answer! Item number 6 has been rectified on your personal page as well as noted down below. Please go over it wel.

Thank you for your great effort as always.

Good night!

-T. Donna~

The world is full of fun things. 
>> Correct!

Diverse experiences from hobbies and interests enrich our lives. 
>> Correct!

As you said, It also makes us happy. 
>> Correct!
Or: As you said, it also makes us happy.

I think people get energy from others, so we have fun interacting with various people or focusing on something.
>> Correct!

Maybe there is an error in my feedback number 6. Could you lookover that?
>> Correct!
Or: Could you look over it?

6. That's not solve the problem, that's become a problem.
>> Correct!
Or: That's not solve the problem, that's become a problem.
>> 6. That's not solve the problem, that's become a problem.
>> Correct!
Or: If that does not solve the problem, that becomes a bigger problem.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117161 homework Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 0
117160 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 1086
117159 Just with my friends:) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 674
117158 2022.3.8 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 285
117157 What is your all-time favorite movie and what can you learn from... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 485
117156 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 2
117155 Do you think becoming a lawyer is a steady profession? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 4
117154 What causes illiteracy? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 3
117153 How do you make your day exciting? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 833
117152 3/8 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 436
117151 What do you think of the one child policy? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 2
117150 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 532
117149 What is your all-time favorite movie and what can you learn from... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 1087
117148 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 725
117147 HOMEWORK ¹è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 533
117146 Shopping ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 2
117145 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 172
117144 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 0
117143 homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 1
117142 Hardest part ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 731

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04