¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*ÁÖ
2022-08-03 871

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK:
Why do we need to have our own hobbies or interests? Answer in a few sentences.

The world is full of fun things. Diverse experiences from hobbies and interests enrich our lives. As you said, It also makes us happy. I think people get energy from others, so we have fun interacting with various people or focusing on something.


Maybe there is an error in my feedback number 6. Could you lookover that?

6. That's not solve the problem, that's become a problem.
>> Correct!
Or: That's not solve the problem, that's become a problem.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hae Ju!

Interesting hobbies energize us. We cannot just do work all the time, hobbies are our creative and fun side. In your case, sharing ideas and digging in deep and useful thoughts is an enjoyable activity.

Anyway, congratulations for all the correct sentences here on your homework answer! Item number 6 has been rectified on your personal page as well as noted down below. Please go over it wel.

Thank you for your great effort as always.

Good night!

-T. Donna~

The world is full of fun things. 
>> Correct!

Diverse experiences from hobbies and interests enrich our lives. 
>> Correct!

As you said, It also makes us happy. 
>> Correct!
Or: As you said, it also makes us happy.

I think people get energy from others, so we have fun interacting with various people or focusing on something.
>> Correct!

Maybe there is an error in my feedback number 6. Could you lookover that?
>> Correct!
Or: Could you look over it?

6. That's not solve the problem, that's become a problem.
>> Correct!
Or: That's not solve the problem, that's become a problem.
>> 6. That's not solve the problem, that's become a problem.
>> Correct!
Or: If that does not solve the problem, that becomes a bigger problem.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119294 What do you think will happen if we lived in a world without... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 134
119293 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 78
119292 What common family problem which is not too serious do you... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 7
119291 5/24 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 98
119290 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 0
119289 Why do you think it is important to be open-minded and... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 2
119288 Korea traffic jam ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 172
119287 About food ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 6
119286 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 3
119285 To calm down my anger ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 192
119284 Do you think it\'s a good idea to write your goals down and tick... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 137
119283 What thing that can usually change your mind? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 103
119282 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 2
119281 What\\\'s the most common thing you and your siblings fight... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 83
119280 Homework ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 2
119279 Studying While Listening to Music ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 79
119278 [Homework] Q. What is your dream job? Why? ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 2
119277 How do you think can we solve traffic problems there in South... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 129
119276 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 62
119275 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 60

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04