¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*ÁÖ
2022-08-03 844

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK:
Why do we need to have our own hobbies or interests? Answer in a few sentences.

The world is full of fun things. Diverse experiences from hobbies and interests enrich our lives. As you said, It also makes us happy. I think people get energy from others, so we have fun interacting with various people or focusing on something.


Maybe there is an error in my feedback number 6. Could you lookover that?

6. That's not solve the problem, that's become a problem.
>> Correct!
Or: That's not solve the problem, that's become a problem.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hae Ju!

Interesting hobbies energize us. We cannot just do work all the time, hobbies are our creative and fun side. In your case, sharing ideas and digging in deep and useful thoughts is an enjoyable activity.

Anyway, congratulations for all the correct sentences here on your homework answer! Item number 6 has been rectified on your personal page as well as noted down below. Please go over it wel.

Thank you for your great effort as always.

Good night!

-T. Donna~

The world is full of fun things. 
>> Correct!

Diverse experiences from hobbies and interests enrich our lives. 
>> Correct!

As you said, It also makes us happy. 
>> Correct!
Or: As you said, it also makes us happy.

I think people get energy from others, so we have fun interacting with various people or focusing on something.
>> Correct!

Maybe there is an error in my feedback number 6. Could you lookover that?
>> Correct!
Or: Could you look over it?

6. That's not solve the problem, that's become a problem.
>> Correct!
Or: That's not solve the problem, that's become a problem.
>> 6. That's not solve the problem, that's become a problem.
>> Correct!
Or: If that does not solve the problem, that becomes a bigger problem.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119813 Exercise ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-13 2
119812 If you wrote a book, what would you write about? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-13 1
119811 homework ¿ø*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-13 122
119810 What do you think would South Korea be like if it still has... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-13 199
119809 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-13 99
119808 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-13 161
119807 How do you understand \" too good, to be true\"? Please provide... ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-13 174
119806 Soeun\'s Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-13 1
119805 About diasters ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-13 3
119804 I hope....! À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-13 2
119803 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-13 581
119802 Capitalism ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-13 151
119801 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-13 143
119800 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-13 2
119799 Are banks the best place to keep your money? / What makes you... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-13 1
119798 How would you describe a very relaxing vacation? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-13 148
119797 How I celebrate my birthday. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-06-13 130
119796 [Homework] Q. Bill Watterson said: \"Weekends don\'t count... ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-12 1
119795 PLEASE GIVE A CORRECT RESPONSE ON HOW TO ASK FOR HELP OR DECLINE... ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-12 184
119794 What essential item are you planning to buy these days? Why? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-12 128

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04