¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*ÁÖ
2022-08-03 728

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK:
Why do we need to have our own hobbies or interests? Answer in a few sentences.

The world is full of fun things. Diverse experiences from hobbies and interests enrich our lives. As you said, It also makes us happy. I think people get energy from others, so we have fun interacting with various people or focusing on something.


Maybe there is an error in my feedback number 6. Could you lookover that?

6. That's not solve the problem, that's become a problem.
>> Correct!
Or: That's not solve the problem, that's become a problem.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hae Ju!

Interesting hobbies energize us. We cannot just do work all the time, hobbies are our creative and fun side. In your case, sharing ideas and digging in deep and useful thoughts is an enjoyable activity.

Anyway, congratulations for all the correct sentences here on your homework answer! Item number 6 has been rectified on your personal page as well as noted down below. Please go over it wel.

Thank you for your great effort as always.

Good night!

-T. Donna~

The world is full of fun things. 
>> Correct!

Diverse experiences from hobbies and interests enrich our lives. 
>> Correct!

As you said, It also makes us happy. 
>> Correct!
Or: As you said, it also makes us happy.

I think people get energy from others, so we have fun interacting with various people or focusing on something.
>> Correct!

Maybe there is an error in my feedback number 6. Could you lookover that?
>> Correct!
Or: Could you look over it?

6. That's not solve the problem, that's become a problem.
>> Correct!
Or: That's not solve the problem, that's become a problem.
>> 6. That's not solve the problem, that's become a problem.
>> Correct!
Or: If that does not solve the problem, that becomes a bigger problem.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122168 What do you think is the worst crime a person could commit? Why? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-05 1352
122167 What is the best dish for you to eat when you¡¯re relaxing at... ÀÌ*Å ¿Ï·á 2022-09-05 2427
122166 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-05 2
122165 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-05 2
122164 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-05 1404
122163 Homework ³ë*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-05 1
122162 What can you say about your friends and what are friends for? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-05 2087
122161 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-05 2
122160 Do you think that Itaewon has a high chance of becoming a den of... ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-05 1
122159 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-05 0
122158 Homework: What is the most unpleasant experience you\'ve ever... ±è*¿í ¿Ï·á 2022-09-05 1648
122157 Monday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-05 615
122156 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-09-05 2
122155 Tell me about your top three animals that fascinates you. Why... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-05 843
122154 homework ◡̈ ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-05 1132
122153 Homework ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-05 1737
122152 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-09-05 0
122151 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-05 1124
122150 Expression ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-05 1
122149 Hi Beth ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-05 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04