¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-08-03 451

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, Donna.
My eyes are getting better owing to your concerns.
This morning, we started a new topic. "eating"
As you know it, I love to eat some delicious food.
One of my routine jobs in the morning is to choose the lunch menu every morning.
Foods are very important to me.
Thus, I gained weights, and it causes knee pain.
Moreover, I also got a digestive problem.
Some foods make our skin unhealthy.
Among them, the most harmful food is an alcohol.
When we drink, our facial vessels can be dilated, and skins can be getting dry.
In addition, after drinking, we usually don't have a good quality of sleep, and then we are so tired, so it makes our skin more terrible.
Meanwhile, high sugar concentrated foods can increase the sebum in our skin, and it can makes many kinds of folliculitis including acne.
For our better skin, we should stay away from fastfoods like hamburger, pizza, ramen, and so on.
It's so difficult for us to select only good foods.
I wish you can enjoy your lunch today~ LOL

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon, Dr. Kim!

I had a light and filling lunch. I hope that your meal choice for your clinic today was very healthy and tasty. Food is life so we have to do our best to eat right. Well, curating your meals is a huge task to fulfill. The health of your team is in your hands. I am sure that you have a very good taste when it comes to food menu.

Most food that we ingest may be nutritious. However, beverages such as alcohol goes directly to the blood stream and take effect in just a few minutes. So, the damage that it creates to our entire physical system can be cumulative overtime.  Drinking moderately is recommended therefore. If our skin still gets bad, people just have to see you as a dermatological doctor who can give them professional advice on how to mainatain a flawless skin.

Keep up the straightforward and clear ideas in your sentences. In addition, you have used complex sentences and they were excellent. 

Catch you again soon. Enjoy your lunch!

-T. Donna~

Hello, Donna.
>> Correct!

My eyes are getting better owing to your concerns.
>> Correct!
Or: My eyes are getting better, thanks to your concern.

This morning, we started a new topic. "eating"
>> Correct!
Or:This morning, we started a new topic, "eating"

As you know it, I love to eat some delicious food.
>> Correct!

One of my routine jobs in the morning is to choose the lunch menu every morning.
>> Correct!

Foods are very important to me.
>> Correct!

Thus, I gained weights, and it causes knee pain.
>> Thus, I gained weight, and it causes knee pain.

Moreover, I also got a digestive problem.
>> Correct!

Some foods make our skin unhealthy.
>> Correct!

Among them, the most harmful food is an alcohol.
>> Among them, the most harmful beverage is alcohol.

When we drink, our facial vessels can be dilated, and skins can be getting dry.
>> When we drink, our facial vessels can be dilated, and the skin can (be getting dry/ get dry).

In addition, after drinking, we usually don't have a good quality of sleep, and then we are so tired, so it makes our skin more terrible.
>> Correct!

Meanwhile, high sugar concentrated foods can increase the sebum in our skin, and it can makes many kinds of folliculitis including acne.
>> Meanwhile, high sugar concentrated foods can increase the sebum in our skin, and it can make many kinds of folliculitis including acne.

For our better skin, we should stay away from fastfoods like hamburger, pizza, ramen, and so on.
>> Correct!
Or: For better skin, we should stay away from fastfoods like hamburger, pizza, ramen, and so on.

It's so difficult for us to select only good foods.
>> Correct!

I wish you can enjoy your lunch today~ LOL
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123161 Do you want to live in a posh area? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-10-22 0
123160 Hotel ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-22 1
123159 Why are gifts important in our life? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-10-22 2692
123158 Do you prefer to go to festivals alone or with others? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-10-22 1903
123157 Weekend ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-21 1595
123156 About the development of social networking sites. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-10-21 2321
123155 Do you want to be a Queen? Why or why not? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-21 2643
123154 What are the best memories you have spent with your grandparents? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-21 1716
123153 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-21 2278
123152 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-21 1654
123151 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-21 2115
123150 Homework ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-21 2580
123149 Homework ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-21 2665
123148 some | any | a little | a few | much | many (There are sometimes... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-21 1592
123147 What will you do this weekend to relax? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-21 3107
123146 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-21 2
123145 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-21 1975
123144 That¡¯s possible! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-10-21 1911
123143 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-10-21 0
123142 Behavirol answer ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-10-21 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04