¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-08-03 556

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, Donna.
My eyes are getting better owing to your concerns.
This morning, we started a new topic. "eating"
As you know it, I love to eat some delicious food.
One of my routine jobs in the morning is to choose the lunch menu every morning.
Foods are very important to me.
Thus, I gained weights, and it causes knee pain.
Moreover, I also got a digestive problem.
Some foods make our skin unhealthy.
Among them, the most harmful food is an alcohol.
When we drink, our facial vessels can be dilated, and skins can be getting dry.
In addition, after drinking, we usually don't have a good quality of sleep, and then we are so tired, so it makes our skin more terrible.
Meanwhile, high sugar concentrated foods can increase the sebum in our skin, and it can makes many kinds of folliculitis including acne.
For our better skin, we should stay away from fastfoods like hamburger, pizza, ramen, and so on.
It's so difficult for us to select only good foods.
I wish you can enjoy your lunch today~ LOL

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon, Dr. Kim!

I had a light and filling lunch. I hope that your meal choice for your clinic today was very healthy and tasty. Food is life so we have to do our best to eat right. Well, curating your meals is a huge task to fulfill. The health of your team is in your hands. I am sure that you have a very good taste when it comes to food menu.

Most food that we ingest may be nutritious. However, beverages such as alcohol goes directly to the blood stream and take effect in just a few minutes. So, the damage that it creates to our entire physical system can be cumulative overtime.  Drinking moderately is recommended therefore. If our skin still gets bad, people just have to see you as a dermatological doctor who can give them professional advice on how to mainatain a flawless skin.

Keep up the straightforward and clear ideas in your sentences. In addition, you have used complex sentences and they were excellent. 

Catch you again soon. Enjoy your lunch!

-T. Donna~

Hello, Donna.
>> Correct!

My eyes are getting better owing to your concerns.
>> Correct!
Or: My eyes are getting better, thanks to your concern.

This morning, we started a new topic. "eating"
>> Correct!
Or:This morning, we started a new topic, "eating"

As you know it, I love to eat some delicious food.
>> Correct!

One of my routine jobs in the morning is to choose the lunch menu every morning.
>> Correct!

Foods are very important to me.
>> Correct!

Thus, I gained weights, and it causes knee pain.
>> Thus, I gained weight, and it causes knee pain.

Moreover, I also got a digestive problem.
>> Correct!

Some foods make our skin unhealthy.
>> Correct!

Among them, the most harmful food is an alcohol.
>> Among them, the most harmful beverage is alcohol.

When we drink, our facial vessels can be dilated, and skins can be getting dry.
>> When we drink, our facial vessels can be dilated, and the skin can (be getting dry/ get dry).

In addition, after drinking, we usually don't have a good quality of sleep, and then we are so tired, so it makes our skin more terrible.
>> Correct!

Meanwhile, high sugar concentrated foods can increase the sebum in our skin, and it can makes many kinds of folliculitis including acne.
>> Meanwhile, high sugar concentrated foods can increase the sebum in our skin, and it can make many kinds of folliculitis including acne.

For our better skin, we should stay away from fastfoods like hamburger, pizza, ramen, and so on.
>> Correct!
Or: For better skin, we should stay away from fastfoods like hamburger, pizza, ramen, and so on.

It's so difficult for us to select only good foods.
>> Correct!

I wish you can enjoy your lunch today~ LOL
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124457 Have you ever volunteered to help victims of natural disasters?... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 985
124456 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 3
124455 What is your best personality trait? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 1209
124454 Have you met anyone for the first time recently? How did you... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 882
124453 Who is the best person you\'ve ever met? What makes that person... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 688
124452 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 2
124451 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 774
124450 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 0
124449 Perfects in the Whole Wide School ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 858
124448 What comics have you read in English? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 1
124447 Homesickness ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 701
124446 Do you think public transportation is better than driving your... Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-12-27 980
124445 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-27 994
124444 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-27 2
124443 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-27 1
124442 How would you feel if there weren¡¯t any holidays? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-27 768
124441 Christmas movies! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-27 739
124440 \"Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-27 869
124439 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-12-27 0
124438 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-27 853

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04