¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-08-03 723

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, Donna.
My eyes are getting better owing to your concerns.
This morning, we started a new topic. "eating"
As you know it, I love to eat some delicious food.
One of my routine jobs in the morning is to choose the lunch menu every morning.
Foods are very important to me.
Thus, I gained weights, and it causes knee pain.
Moreover, I also got a digestive problem.
Some foods make our skin unhealthy.
Among them, the most harmful food is an alcohol.
When we drink, our facial vessels can be dilated, and skins can be getting dry.
In addition, after drinking, we usually don't have a good quality of sleep, and then we are so tired, so it makes our skin more terrible.
Meanwhile, high sugar concentrated foods can increase the sebum in our skin, and it can makes many kinds of folliculitis including acne.
For our better skin, we should stay away from fastfoods like hamburger, pizza, ramen, and so on.
It's so difficult for us to select only good foods.
I wish you can enjoy your lunch today~ LOL

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon, Dr. Kim!

I had a light and filling lunch. I hope that your meal choice for your clinic today was very healthy and tasty. Food is life so we have to do our best to eat right. Well, curating your meals is a huge task to fulfill. The health of your team is in your hands. I am sure that you have a very good taste when it comes to food menu.

Most food that we ingest may be nutritious. However, beverages such as alcohol goes directly to the blood stream and take effect in just a few minutes. So, the damage that it creates to our entire physical system can be cumulative overtime.  Drinking moderately is recommended therefore. If our skin still gets bad, people just have to see you as a dermatological doctor who can give them professional advice on how to mainatain a flawless skin.

Keep up the straightforward and clear ideas in your sentences. In addition, you have used complex sentences and they were excellent. 

Catch you again soon. Enjoy your lunch!

-T. Donna~

Hello, Donna.
>> Correct!

My eyes are getting better owing to your concerns.
>> Correct!
Or: My eyes are getting better, thanks to your concern.

This morning, we started a new topic. "eating"
>> Correct!
Or:This morning, we started a new topic, "eating"

As you know it, I love to eat some delicious food.
>> Correct!

One of my routine jobs in the morning is to choose the lunch menu every morning.
>> Correct!

Foods are very important to me.
>> Correct!

Thus, I gained weights, and it causes knee pain.
>> Thus, I gained weight, and it causes knee pain.

Moreover, I also got a digestive problem.
>> Correct!

Some foods make our skin unhealthy.
>> Correct!

Among them, the most harmful food is an alcohol.
>> Among them, the most harmful beverage is alcohol.

When we drink, our facial vessels can be dilated, and skins can be getting dry.
>> When we drink, our facial vessels can be dilated, and the skin can (be getting dry/ get dry).

In addition, after drinking, we usually don't have a good quality of sleep, and then we are so tired, so it makes our skin more terrible.
>> Correct!

Meanwhile, high sugar concentrated foods can increase the sebum in our skin, and it can makes many kinds of folliculitis including acne.
>> Meanwhile, high sugar concentrated foods can increase the sebum in our skin, and it can make many kinds of folliculitis including acne.

For our better skin, we should stay away from fastfoods like hamburger, pizza, ramen, and so on.
>> Correct!
Or: For better skin, we should stay away from fastfoods like hamburger, pizza, ramen, and so on.

It's so difficult for us to select only good foods.
>> Correct!

I wish you can enjoy your lunch today~ LOL
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117472 About the development of technology. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 429
117471 Discipline method ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 2
117470 Can you give three examples of synonyms? / What are synonyms for? ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 706
117469 Do you spend more free time with family or friends? What do you... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 339
117468 Do you think people would be less human if they had the organ of... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 610
117467 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 470
117466 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 604
117465 What are your weaknesses? Explain in detail. ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 543
117464 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 525
117463 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 836
117462 Homework ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 2
117461 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 505
117460 ESSAY: Parents should be held responsible for their children\'s... Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 380
117459 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 623
117458 ESSAY: Morals or money? Which one is necessary to survive?... Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 520
117457 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 2
117456 If you were a celebrity, what kind of movie would you like to... ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 446
117455 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 3
117454 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 791
117453 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04