¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-08-03 292

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, Donna.
My eyes are getting better owing to your concerns.
This morning, we started a new topic. "eating"
As you know it, I love to eat some delicious food.
One of my routine jobs in the morning is to choose the lunch menu every morning.
Foods are very important to me.
Thus, I gained weights, and it causes knee pain.
Moreover, I also got a digestive problem.
Some foods make our skin unhealthy.
Among them, the most harmful food is an alcohol.
When we drink, our facial vessels can be dilated, and skins can be getting dry.
In addition, after drinking, we usually don't have a good quality of sleep, and then we are so tired, so it makes our skin more terrible.
Meanwhile, high sugar concentrated foods can increase the sebum in our skin, and it can makes many kinds of folliculitis including acne.
For our better skin, we should stay away from fastfoods like hamburger, pizza, ramen, and so on.
It's so difficult for us to select only good foods.
I wish you can enjoy your lunch today~ LOL

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon, Dr. Kim!

I had a light and filling lunch. I hope that your meal choice for your clinic today was very healthy and tasty. Food is life so we have to do our best to eat right. Well, curating your meals is a huge task to fulfill. The health of your team is in your hands. I am sure that you have a very good taste when it comes to food menu.

Most food that we ingest may be nutritious. However, beverages such as alcohol goes directly to the blood stream and take effect in just a few minutes. So, the damage that it creates to our entire physical system can be cumulative overtime.  Drinking moderately is recommended therefore. If our skin still gets bad, people just have to see you as a dermatological doctor who can give them professional advice on how to mainatain a flawless skin.

Keep up the straightforward and clear ideas in your sentences. In addition, you have used complex sentences and they were excellent. 

Catch you again soon. Enjoy your lunch!

-T. Donna~

Hello, Donna.
>> Correct!

My eyes are getting better owing to your concerns.
>> Correct!
Or: My eyes are getting better, thanks to your concern.

This morning, we started a new topic. "eating"
>> Correct!
Or:This morning, we started a new topic, "eating"

As you know it, I love to eat some delicious food.
>> Correct!

One of my routine jobs in the morning is to choose the lunch menu every morning.
>> Correct!

Foods are very important to me.
>> Correct!

Thus, I gained weights, and it causes knee pain.
>> Thus, I gained weight, and it causes knee pain.

Moreover, I also got a digestive problem.
>> Correct!

Some foods make our skin unhealthy.
>> Correct!

Among them, the most harmful food is an alcohol.
>> Among them, the most harmful beverage is alcohol.

When we drink, our facial vessels can be dilated, and skins can be getting dry.
>> When we drink, our facial vessels can be dilated, and the skin can (be getting dry/ get dry).

In addition, after drinking, we usually don't have a good quality of sleep, and then we are so tired, so it makes our skin more terrible.
>> Correct!

Meanwhile, high sugar concentrated foods can increase the sebum in our skin, and it can makes many kinds of folliculitis including acne.
>> Meanwhile, high sugar concentrated foods can increase the sebum in our skin, and it can make many kinds of folliculitis including acne.

For our better skin, we should stay away from fastfoods like hamburger, pizza, ramen, and so on.
>> Correct!
Or: For better skin, we should stay away from fastfoods like hamburger, pizza, ramen, and so on.

It's so difficult for us to select only good foods.
>> Correct!

I wish you can enjoy your lunch today~ LOL
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121274 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 373
121273 Traveling to a new country. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 575
121272 What was your most recent travel experience? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 635
121271 Stress Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 4
121270 Making three sentences using \"Count\" ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 233
121269 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 998
121268 What do you think is the most common crime in your country? ¹é*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 1255
121267 let me introduce my self ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 4
121266 About school cafeterias ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 1
121265 class review. À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 1
121264 How are you similar to your parents? How are you different? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 964
121263 Is peer pressure beneficial or harmful? ¹é*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 620
121262 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 250
121261 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 2
121260 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ÁøÇàÁß 2022-08-02 1
121259 Do you think that human beings can learn anything from animals? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 400
121258 What are the benefits of reading books? ä*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 134
121257 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 0
121256 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 1
121255 I have some questions about my writing isn¡¯t it correct? I want... ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04