¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think is the most common crime in your country?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹é*¿ø
2022-08-02 1323

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What do you think is the most common crime in your country? Why?

The most common crime in Korea is sexual assault. Most criminals¡¯ target are women. The reason why this crimes don¡¯t decrease is low-level government punishment. So I think the intensity of the sentence should be strengthened in Korea. Also ¡®Death Penalty¡¯ is need for criminals. If it comes back to South Korea, the crimes will be strikely decreased. But someone think it is inhumane. But in my opinion, it is much better for criminals to get hurt than for innocent people.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Harry!
Thank you for writing this beautiful essay. 
I loved reading your opinions in relation to the question. 
I also agree that death penalty should be reinstated because it has a stronger impact on criminals. 
Anyhow, I hope you're doing great. See you in class tomorrow. ^^
~Teacher Charry :)



The most common crime in Korea is sexual assault. 
>> CORRECT!
Most criminals¡¯ target are women. 
>> CORRECT!
The reason why this crimes don¡¯t decrease is low-level government punishment. 
>> The reason why this crime doesn't decrease is because of the light punishment the government gives. 
So I think the intensity of the sentence should be strengthened in Korea. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> So I think heavier punishment should be given in Korea. 
Also ¡®Death Penalty¡¯ is need for criminals. 
>> Also, ¡®death penalty¡¯ is necessary for criminals. 
If it comes back to South Korea, the crimes will be strikely decreased. 
>> When reinstated in South Korea, the crimes will strikingly decrease. 
But someone think it is inhumane. 
>> But some people think it's inhumane. 
But in my opinion, it is much better for criminals to get hurt than for innocent people.
>> But in my opinion, it is much better for criminals to get hurt than innocent people.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120648 Many young people today spend too much time following the latest... ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 0
120647 Which greeting kind of annoys you? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 377
120646 Do you think robots or AI will replace human teachers in the... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 552
120645 7.11. Monday ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 593
120644 What illness are you afraid of the most and why? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 473
120643 Do you think robots or AI will replace human teachers in the... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 348
120642 7/11 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 523
120641 Do you think the health care system in your country offers... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 559
120640 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 474
120639 How does one make good choices? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 4
120638 The appearance and character of the person I want to date. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 414
120637 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 475
120636 If you could choose another country to live in, where would it... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 582
120635 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 430
120634 Which do you think is more important, physical health or mental... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 1
120633 Who do you admire? Do you try to be like this person (or people)? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 1
120632 What is your favorite foreign food? How is it different from... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 317
120631 What do you usually do after exercising? ÇÑ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 1
120630 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 657
120629 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04