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Homework

작성자: 김*우
2022-08-01 653

회원님의 영작문

Hi there, Donna.
Today's homework is about a crime.
I have some experiences of small crimes including jaywalking, throwing trashes on the road, stealing snacks, and so on.
Among them, I clearly remember the jaywalking crime.
At my college student age, I lived in Asan city.
At that time, one of my friends and I rented a small room(we usually say "one room") near the university and we stayed there.
Many friends came over our home frequently.
One day, after we had a lunch, we planned to go our home.
From the restaurant to home, there was a road that rarely had cars.
Thus, we went across the road, having no guilty sense.
And then, we found that a police car ran after us.
We were just scared, so we tried to run away.
Hence, we altogether ran and hided in the basement of some old building.
How stupid we were!
Consequently, policemen found all of us easily, and we had to pay expenses.
After that moment, I never do a jaywalking.
So, that was a good experience, I think.
Catch you tomorrow.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello! Good evening, Dr. Geun Woo!

Crime is commiting offense against the law. Jaywalking is against the law and it is a policy to protect us and the drivers and passengers on the road. At times, we get so lazy and cut corners. Therefore, we wil really be apprehended. I had done this several times at the absence of the police. Luckily, I have never been arrested! However, I am not proud of it. Since you have your own car, you have to watch out on jaywalker on the road.

Now, please go over the sentences that contain suggestions. I appreciate the starighforward manner of answering the questions as well as the elaborate and detailed descriptions of the events of your jaywalking account. 

Catch you then! 

-T. Donna~

Hi there, Donna.
>> Correct!

Today's homework is about a crime.
>> Correct!
Or:  Today's homework is about crime.

I have some experiences of small crimes including jaywalking, throwing trashes on the road, stealing snacks, and so on.
>> Correct!

Among them, I clearly remember the jaywalking crime.
>> Correct!

At my college student age, I lived in Asan city.
>> In my (college student life/ college days), I lived in Asan city.

At that time, one of my friends and I rented a small room(we usually say "one room") near the university and we stayed there.
>> Correct!

Many friends came over our home frequently.
>> Correct!

One day, after we had a lunch, we planned to go our home.
>> One day, after we had lunch, we planned to go home.

From the restaurant to home, there was a road that rarely had cars.
>> Correct!

Thus, we went across the road, having no guilty sense.
>> Correct!
Or: Thus, we went across the road, having no sense of guilt.

And then, we found that a police car ran after us.
>> Correct!

We were just scared, so we tried to run away.
>> Correct!

Hence, we altogether ran and hided in the basement of some old building.
>> Hence, we ran altogether and hid in the basement of some old building.

How stupid we were!
>> Correct!

Consequently, policemen found all of us easily, and we had to pay expenses.
>> Consequently, the policemen found all of us easily, and we had to pay a fine.

After that moment, I never do a jaywalking.
>> After that moment, I never did any jaywalking.

So, that was a good experience, I think.
>> Correct!

Catch you tomorrow.
>> Correct!
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