¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Hi Gemmar

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Áø
2022-08-01 758

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: In other countries, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?

We have the place where there are nurses and doctors to look after the elderly In Korea.
All of Korean who make money have to pay every month medical insurance which payment inculdes prepration for when we get old.
With this insurance , all the elderly korean can use nursing program on small money.
Korea medical insurance system is famous for cheap and well organised system in the world.
But as people's life is getting longer, the nest generation have to pay more and longer than the elderly had paid.
Goverment already knows that the money will run out soon because of life extention, therefore medical insurance fee has been increaseing every year.
I don't complain because I will be also old. (SAD)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ms. Eunice! Thanks for diligently answering your essay! See you later! I'm actually in the office now because my area is affected with power interruption. I hate going to the office. Hahaha! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
We have the place where there are nurses and doctors to look after the elderly In Korea. ( IS IT SILVER TOWN? )
>>> CORRECT 
All of Korean who make money have to pay every month medical insurance which payment inculdes prepration for when we get old.
>>> Koreans have to make money to pay their monthly medical insurance which includes the preparation for senior life. 
With this insurance , all the elderly korean can use nursing program on small money.
>>> With this insurance, the elderly Koreans can use the nursing program with small amount of money.
Korea medical insurance system is famous for cheap and well organized system in the world.
>>> CORRECT 
But as people's life is getting longer, the nest generation have to pay more and longer than the elderly had paid.
>>> But as people's life expectancy is getting longer, the next generations have to pay more and longer than the elderly. 
Goverment already knows that the money will run out soon because of life extention, therefore medical insurance fee has been increaseing every year.
>>> The government already knows that the money will run out soon because of longer life expectancy, therefore the medical insurance fee has been increasing every year.
I don't complain because I will be also old. (SAD) ( IT'S SOMETHING INEVITABLE THAT'S WHY PEOPLE DO YOLO )
 >>> CORRECT 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124604 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 737
124603 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 864
124602 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 908
124601 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 733
124600 Choosing correct verb ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 698
124599 What savings goals do you have? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 772
124598 When was the last time you went shopping? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 3051
124597 What will the city of the future look like? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 799
124596 Do you or would you encourage your children to watch Disney... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 619
124595 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 4
124594 Opinion of being alone sometimes ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 899
124593 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 856
124592 Avoid ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 1
124591 Use the following words in sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 911
124590 homework ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 536
124589 Vacuum cleaner! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 2001
124588 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 3
124587 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 708
124586 Have you ever experienced being harassed or have ever been a... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 795
124585 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04