¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Hi Gemmar

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Áø
2022-08-01 526

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: In other countries, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?

We have the place where there are nurses and doctors to look after the elderly In Korea.
All of Korean who make money have to pay every month medical insurance which payment inculdes prepration for when we get old.
With this insurance , all the elderly korean can use nursing program on small money.
Korea medical insurance system is famous for cheap and well organised system in the world.
But as people's life is getting longer, the nest generation have to pay more and longer than the elderly had paid.
Goverment already knows that the money will run out soon because of life extention, therefore medical insurance fee has been increaseing every year.
I don't complain because I will be also old. (SAD)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ms. Eunice! Thanks for diligently answering your essay! See you later! I'm actually in the office now because my area is affected with power interruption. I hate going to the office. Hahaha! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
We have the place where there are nurses and doctors to look after the elderly In Korea. ( IS IT SILVER TOWN? )
>>> CORRECT 
All of Korean who make money have to pay every month medical insurance which payment inculdes prepration for when we get old.
>>> Koreans have to make money to pay their monthly medical insurance which includes the preparation for senior life. 
With this insurance , all the elderly korean can use nursing program on small money.
>>> With this insurance, the elderly Koreans can use the nursing program with small amount of money.
Korea medical insurance system is famous for cheap and well organized system in the world.
>>> CORRECT 
But as people's life is getting longer, the nest generation have to pay more and longer than the elderly had paid.
>>> But as people's life expectancy is getting longer, the next generations have to pay more and longer than the elderly. 
Goverment already knows that the money will run out soon because of life extention, therefore medical insurance fee has been increaseing every year.
>>> The government already knows that the money will run out soon because of longer life expectancy, therefore the medical insurance fee has been increasing every year.
I don't complain because I will be also old. (SAD) ( IT'S SOMETHING INEVITABLE THAT'S WHY PEOPLE DO YOLO )
 >>> CORRECT 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122008 What would you do if you found 100 euros or dollars in the... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 1168
122007 If you were the President of Korea, what would you do to improve... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 1113
122006 What would life be like without music? What does music mean to... ÃÖ*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 1446
122005 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 1211
122004 What can the government do to increase the low birth rate in... ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 2297
122003 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 1
122002 superlative ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 1
122001 Skincare Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 2
122000 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 1
121999 What comes to your mind when you hear the expression \'Monday... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 1819
121998 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 1
121997 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 6
121996 Hi Jhozel ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 6
121995 Tell me about at least three particular places which are within... ¹Ú*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 1030
121994 What are the benefits of watching comedy movies? ³ë*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 831
121993 Do you agree that social distancing should be brought back? Why... ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 2
121992 Healthy Lifestyle Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 2
121991 homework ◡̈ ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 1431
121990 Who is the tallest person in your family? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 1118
121989 How do you over come the generation gap? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-30 1747

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04