¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What gadget is very destructive in your opinion? Share your answer in a few sentences.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¿¬
2022-07-31 584

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

A smartphone has a very destructive power to us.Thanks to a development of technology, we can handle many things with this small rectangular type of gadget. However, smartphones affect our health negatively through bad eye vision, back&neck pain, a lack of concentration and insomnia. Furthermore, as the number of phone users increases, cyber bullying is a significant problem in nowadays. Many stars have been troubled with online haters. For these reasons, I chose a smartphone as a destructive gadget.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Judy!

While it is true that Smartphones give us a lot of benefits, it is a double edged sword that cuts us when used wrongly. There is not much problem about this technology. It is the people who use it who we cannot control well.

Thus, congratulations on a job well done on this homework answer! Excellent job!

See you on the next class and homework.

-T. Donna~ 

A smartphone has a very destructive power to us.
>> Correct!

Thanks to a development of technology, we can handle many things with this small rectangular type of gadget. 
>> Thanks to the development of technology, we can handle many things with this small rectangular type of gadget. 

However, smartphones affect our health negatively through bad eye vision, back&neck pain, a lack of concentration and insomnia. 
>> Correct
Or: However, smartphones affect our health negatively through bad eye vision, back and neck pains, a lack of concentration, and insomnia. 

Furthermore, as the number of phone users increases, cyber bullying is a significant problem in nowadays. 
>> Furthermore, as the number of phone users increases, cyber bullying is a significant problem nowadays. 

Many stars have been troubled with online haters. 
>> Correct!

For these reasons, I chose a smartphone as a destructive gadget.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118804 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 59
118803 What is one dilemma you have nowadays? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 69
118802 What (besides good food) makes a restaurant great? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 90
118801 How about you? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 127
118800 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 1
118799 For you, do you prefer the idea of extended or nuclear families? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 119
118798 5.3 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 76
118797 5.4 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 68
118796 5.6 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 61
118795 school uniform ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 133
118794 5.3 homework Çö*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 108
118793 What life lessons can we learn from playing sports? Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 102
118792 5.2 homework Çö*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 87
118791 How important is time in your culture? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 110
118790 4.28 homework Çö*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 89
118789 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 1
118788 4.26 homework Çö*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 61
118787 Your confirmation is required ÃÖ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 122
118786 Your help is needed for then Green Cross account ÃÖ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 1
118785 Long time no connection ÃÖ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04