¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Àå*È£
2022-07-29 200

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My hometown is typically called bedtown. In Korea, bedtown means cities of around the capital. They are close to Seoul and got a convenient trasportation system. Most people who living in bedtown, go to Seoul to work because most of the companies are concentrated in Seoul. So most Bucheon people who go to seoul to work seem tired from monday to friday. However, Buchoen turn into energetic city when weekends. In the park, a huge number of people take a walk with their dogs and cats. Also they come out to playground to exercise.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Yeong Ho!
I can really see your improvement when it comes to writing. You can now create great sentences with correct grammar. Keep it up!
-T. Caitlyn
My hometown is typically called bedtown. 
>> CORRECT
In Korea, bedtown means cities of around the capital. 
>>In Korea, bedtown means cities around the capital. 
They are close to Seoul and got a convenient trasportation system. 
>> They are close to Seoul and have a convenient transportation system. 
Most people who living in bedtown, go to Seoul to work because most of the companies are concentrated in Seoul. 
>> Most people living in bedtown go to Seoul to work because most of the companies are concentrated in Seoul. 
So most Bucheon people who go to seoul to work seem tired from monday to friday. 
>> So most people from Bucheon who goes to work in Seoul seem tired from Monday to Friday. 
However, Buchoen turn into energetic city when weekends. 
>> However, Buchoen turns into an energetic city on weekends. 
In the park, a huge number of people take a walk with their dogs and cats. 
>>CORRECT
Also they come out to playground to exercise.
>>Also, they come out to the playground to exercise.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121885 What kind of lifestyle do you want to have? Share your thoughts... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1402
121884 How important is time in your culture? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 950
121883 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 2
121882 What is the best memory you have of your family doing something... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 855
121881 8/25 homework ¾È*Çå ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 950
121880 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 853
121879 What can you do to make this world a better place? ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 2
121878 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1
121877 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1315
121876 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 3
121875 Be annoyed ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 2
121874 housing ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 582
121873 homework ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 0
121872 Have you ever been the victim of a crime? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 4
121871 Caleb\'s homework for 23 Aug 2022 ±Ç*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1750
121870 homework ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1
121869 Which smartphone app is your favorite? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1
121868 08.23.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1
121867 Is getting angry an effective way of dealing with problems? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 530
121866 Can you talk about a person who has influenced your life? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1420

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04