¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you think can racism be stopped?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-07-28 488

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

As other cases discrimination, I think we need to educate about racism more and more.
Racism is caused by our wrong ideas about our races.
And the reason why there are wrong ideas is some people were educated wrong.
Because of this reason, I think I think we need to educate about racism if we want to stop racism.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

As other cases discrimination, I think we need to educate about racism more and more.
>> As other cases discrimination, I think we need to educate people about the harm of racism. 

Racism is caused by our wrong ideas about our races.
>> Racism is caused by our wrong interpretation about our races. 

And the reason why there are wrong ideas is some people were educated wrong.
>> 
And the reason why there are wrong ideas is because some people are educated wrongly. 

Because of this reason, I think I think we need to educate about racism if we want to stop racism.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124112 I think it depends on the decision of the person facing the... ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-12 2180
124111 what kind of car would you get? A luxurious car? A sports car? A... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-12 1940
124110 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-12 1
124109 ¿µ Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-12 1459
124108 Do you agree that casual clothes can help students express... ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-12-12 1330
124107 Homework 12/12 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-12-12 6
124106 When do you take the bus? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-12 0
124105 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-12 1080
124104 Should people switch to being vegetarian? Why or why not? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-11 1578
124103 Is it necessary to study about the space? Why or why not? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-11 1052
124102 When you do local or international trips, who do you usually go... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-11 1
124101 Is there a place that you would never go to? Why? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-11 1
124100 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-11 966
124099 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-11 1007
124098 Do you plan your day or take it as it comes? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-12-11 0
124097 Do you agree with the statement, ¡°Rejection can make us... Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-11 1
124096 How do you reject something in a polite way? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-11 2
124095 Car insurance can be expensive and in some countries the number... Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-11 2
124094 Why do we judge women by their appearance more than men? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-11 1
124093 Need ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-10 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04