¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you think can racism be stopped?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-07-28 524

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

As other cases discrimination, I think we need to educate about racism more and more.
Racism is caused by our wrong ideas about our races.
And the reason why there are wrong ideas is some people were educated wrong.
Because of this reason, I think I think we need to educate about racism if we want to stop racism.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

As other cases discrimination, I think we need to educate about racism more and more.
>> As other cases discrimination, I think we need to educate people about the harm of racism. 

Racism is caused by our wrong ideas about our races.
>> Racism is caused by our wrong interpretation about our races. 

And the reason why there are wrong ideas is some people were educated wrong.
>> 
And the reason why there are wrong ideas is because some people are educated wrongly. 

Because of this reason, I think I think we need to educate about racism if we want to stop racism.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124957 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-18 535
124956 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-18 0
124955 Galbijjim ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2023-01-18 1
124954 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-18 1
124953 1/18 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-01-18 5
124952 17.Jan.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-18 1
124951 What do people in your family do on New Year¡¯s Day? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-18 0
124950 How do you choose where to go? Are you inspired by other... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 1
124949 I disagree that Many customs and traditional ways of behavior... ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 735
124948 my favorite traveling transportation. ¹Ú*º° ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 757
124947 What does a healthy diet look like to you? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 719
124946 How does your heart feel right now? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 2
124945 Do you think you are strong enough to attend the same church on... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 2
124944 Sharing my problem. ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 902
124943 What will you do if you knew that the bassist is dating someone? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 2
124942 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 0
124941 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 547
124940 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 486
124939 Why cash is still important ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 0
124938 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 476

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04