¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you think can racism be stopped?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-07-28 584

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

As other cases discrimination, I think we need to educate about racism more and more.
Racism is caused by our wrong ideas about our races.
And the reason why there are wrong ideas is some people were educated wrong.
Because of this reason, I think I think we need to educate about racism if we want to stop racism.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

As other cases discrimination, I think we need to educate about racism more and more.
>> As other cases discrimination, I think we need to educate people about the harm of racism. 

Racism is caused by our wrong ideas about our races.
>> Racism is caused by our wrong interpretation about our races. 

And the reason why there are wrong ideas is some people were educated wrong.
>> 
And the reason why there are wrong ideas is because some people are educated wrongly. 

Because of this reason, I think I think we need to educate about racism if we want to stop racism.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
126370 3.9 homework ±Ç*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 874
126369 s it easy to travel around your country? Why do you say so? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 892
126368 3/9 ¼­*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 0
126367 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 0
126366 Homework ¹è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 860
126365 digital ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 1214
126364 What are the most popular kinds of alcohol in your country? ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 2
126363 What are some things you shouldn\'t ask people you just met? ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 801
126362 Spring has come ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 1
126361 What is something you hate doing when you get home? Àå*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 912
126360 Do you like going on a trip to relax? Áö* ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 1
126359 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 859
126358 2023-3/8 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 1361
126357 homework Æí*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 1
126356 how do yo deal a stressful situation ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 1
126355 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 856
126354 homework Á¶* ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 1101
126353 Homework ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 833
126352 Iife is Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 2
126351 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 940

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04