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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Hi Gemmar

작성자: 이*진
2022-07-28 642

회원님의 영작문

ESSAY: Some people say that nowadays children have an easy life, and some people think that the life of children was easier in the past. Discuss both points of view and also provide relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

These days, I cannot find playing children in the park because they have to go private institute.
when I come across meeting children in the elevators.
They look so tired and have a down mood.
Most people think that nowdays children have an abundant life compare to the past.
But they have no times to play with their firends for learning and studying in school and institute beyond our imagination.
I feel sad for nowdays children sometimes, because their rival is not their frines but AI (Artificial intelegence).
At a loss, Children can not have intelegence as much as AI has.
It must be a serious question. Do you want to work for AI? or Do you want to be controller AI?

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day Ms. Eunice! It's raining cats and dogs now. Oh my goodness! Hahaha! I'm planning to go out later and do my groceries. It's really uncomfortable to get wet outside. Hahaha! How's the weather like now? Take care!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
These days, I cannot find playing children in the park because they have to go private institute.
>>> These days, I cannot find children playing in the park because they have to go to private institute.
when I come across meeting children in the elevators.
They look so tired and have a down mood.
>>> When I come across with children in the elevators, they look so tired and down.
Most people think that nowdays children have an abundant life compare to the past.
>>> Most people think that nowadays children have a more abundant life compared to the past.
But they have no times to play with their firends for learning and studying in school and institute beyond our imagination.
>>> But they have no time to play with their friends because they're learning and studying in school and institutiond beyond our imagination.
I feel sad for nowdays children sometimes, because their rival is not their frines but AI (Artificial intelegence).
>>> Sometimes, I feel sad for children these days, because their rival is not their friend but AI (Artificial intelligence).
At a loss, Children can not have intelegence as much as AI has.
>>> CORRECT
It must be a serious question. 
>>> CORRECT
Do you want to work for AI? ( No, I want to AI to work for me Hahaha )
>>> CORRECT
or Do you want to be controller by AI? ( No, I'll be the one to control the AI Hahaha even if they are more intelligent than me. )
>>> CORRECT
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