¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Can you tell me something about your major and the reason you chose it?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼­*ȯ
2022-07-28 364

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

first of all... i majored in business and the reason why i chose this major is because i wanna be a CEO. you know own my company sounds pretty cool right? and i can be a rich person. but when i getting older i know it is very hard to establish own company
because i must have not only creative business ideas but also a lot of money. so i just suspend to have my company. and i change my plan
now i wanna go to HRdepartment for use my major

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Robin!
It's nice to read your answer today, but take note of your patterns and try to use some pronouns instead of repeating the same words.  Try to make other sentences using the correct patterns given for you to easily memorize them.  ^^



~T. Maine

first of all... i majored in business and the reason why i chose this major is because i wanna be a CEO. 
>>First of all, I majored in business and the reason why I chose this was because I want to be a CEO. 
you know own my company sounds pretty cool right? and i can be a rich person. but when i getting older i know it is very hard to establish own company
>> You know having my own company sounds pretty cool, right?  
I can be a rich person but when I get older I know it is very hard to establish my own company. 
because i must have not only creative business ideas but also a lot of money. 
>> It is because I must have not only creative business ideas but also a lot of money. 
so i just suspend to have my company. and i change my plan
>> So I just postpone it and change my plan. 
now i wanna go to HRdepartment for use my major
>> Now, I want to go to the HR department to use my major. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122981 Homework ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 1912
122980 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 2
122979 Write down a novel story you know! ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 2818
122978 Is sadness a bad feeling? Are there good types of sadness and... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 1986
122977 How long have you known your best friend and what do you like... ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 2080
122976 Do you ever feel like you are just wasting your time? What... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 5965
122975 Use the following words in sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 1875
122974 Sadness plays an important role in people\'s lives ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 2264
122973 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 0
122972 Can manners affect your success in life? How? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 1747
122971 Make Sentences using given words. ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 2345
122970 The call-center ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 1
122969 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 2
122968 Homework ³ë*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 1707
122967 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 2240
122966 What is your favorite room in your house? Why? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 1
122965 homework ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 3
122964 Claire\'s Homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-12 2029
122963 10/12 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-10-12 2175
122962 Homework ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-12 2096

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04