¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Can you tell me something about your major and the reason you chose it?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼­*ȯ
2022-07-28 504

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

first of all... i majored in business and the reason why i chose this major is because i wanna be a CEO. you know own my company sounds pretty cool right? and i can be a rich person. but when i getting older i know it is very hard to establish own company
because i must have not only creative business ideas but also a lot of money. so i just suspend to have my company. and i change my plan
now i wanna go to HRdepartment for use my major

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Robin!
It's nice to read your answer today, but take note of your patterns and try to use some pronouns instead of repeating the same words.  Try to make other sentences using the correct patterns given for you to easily memorize them.  ^^



~T. Maine

first of all... i majored in business and the reason why i chose this major is because i wanna be a CEO. 
>>First of all, I majored in business and the reason why I chose this was because I want to be a CEO. 
you know own my company sounds pretty cool right? and i can be a rich person. but when i getting older i know it is very hard to establish own company
>> You know having my own company sounds pretty cool, right?  
I can be a rich person but when I get older I know it is very hard to establish my own company. 
because i must have not only creative business ideas but also a lot of money. 
>> It is because I must have not only creative business ideas but also a lot of money. 
so i just suspend to have my company. and i change my plan
>> So I just postpone it and change my plan. 
now i wanna go to HRdepartment for use my major
>> Now, I want to go to the HR department to use my major. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118336 writing task - Tony ±è*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 1
118335 4/19 homework ヾ(≧¡ä≦*)o ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 101
118334 The best place in my city Çö*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 637
118333 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 2
118332 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 1
118331 What is your must-have item when traveling? Why? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 106
118330 skate ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 6
118329 Right? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 1
118328 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 3
118327 What are some of the advantages of books vs. movies? How about... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 101
118326 Which would you choose: A stressful job with very high pay or a... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 0
118325 Which would you choose: A stressful job with very high pay or a... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 137
118324 I prefer a relaxing weekend. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 110
118323 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 89
118322 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 126
118321 HOMEWORK. ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 120
118320 Deal with money. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 2
118319 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 3
118318 I think this is a trend. We need to be able to use our cards... ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 145
118317 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04