¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Can you tell me something about your major and the reason you chose it?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼­*ȯ
2022-07-28 407

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

first of all... i majored in business and the reason why i chose this major is because i wanna be a CEO. you know own my company sounds pretty cool right? and i can be a rich person. but when i getting older i know it is very hard to establish own company
because i must have not only creative business ideas but also a lot of money. so i just suspend to have my company. and i change my plan
now i wanna go to HRdepartment for use my major

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Robin!
It's nice to read your answer today, but take note of your patterns and try to use some pronouns instead of repeating the same words.  Try to make other sentences using the correct patterns given for you to easily memorize them.  ^^



~T. Maine

first of all... i majored in business and the reason why i chose this major is because i wanna be a CEO. 
>>First of all, I majored in business and the reason why I chose this was because I want to be a CEO. 
you know own my company sounds pretty cool right? and i can be a rich person. but when i getting older i know it is very hard to establish own company
>> You know having my own company sounds pretty cool, right?  
I can be a rich person but when I get older I know it is very hard to establish my own company. 
because i must have not only creative business ideas but also a lot of money. 
>> It is because I must have not only creative business ideas but also a lot of money. 
so i just suspend to have my company. and i change my plan
>> So I just postpone it and change my plan. 
now i wanna go to HRdepartment for use my major
>> Now, I want to go to the HR department to use my major. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119619 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-06-06 2
119618 The shortage of housing in big cities can cause severe... ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-06 0
119617 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-06 2
119616 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-06 5
119615 Betray ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-06 1
119614 the war ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-06 71
119613 Do you feel comfortable when you stay at a hotel? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-06 1
119612 What makes you stand out? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-06 124
119611 What are the pros (good things) and cons (bad things) of living... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-06 2
119610 How important are family gatherings in your country? ±è*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-06-06 153
119609 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-06 90
119608 [Homework] Q. If you had not taken advertisement up, what could... ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-06 1
119607 What are the most annoying bad driving habits of other drivers... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-05 2
119606 Do you trust the information you get from the news? Why or why... ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-05 1
119605 online or traditional education? À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-05 136
119604 Homework ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-05 88
119603 Pre-modern idea ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-05 5
119602 Anniversary ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-05 4
119601 Training ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-05 5
119600 Training ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-05 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04