¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Write a script answering the question: Where do you live?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¾Æ
2022-07-27 582

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I live in an apartment with my family in Hwaseong city.
There is a living room with a sofa
There are three bed room, two bed rooms are my children's room and the other is mine.
Also, the apartment faces the south so it is very bright and sunny during the day
and warm in the afternoon.
I spend most of my time in my computer room to study and relax.
It is very cozy and comfortable. so, I think my house is a good place to live.
In the past, I lived in a small apartment, but on the other hand, I live in a large apartment now.
Compared to my old house, my current house is brighter and more specious.
My old house had small three bedrooms with one bath room
but now, my current house with two bath rooms and big tree rooms.
Overall, my current house is better.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Julia!
Thank you for writing a script about your place. Please take note of the corrected sentences and practice them for our class on Friday.
Have a good afternoon!
Aki~
I live in an apartment with my family in Hwaseong city.
>>> CORRECT!
OR >>> I live with my family in an apartment in Hwaseong City.
There is a living room with a sofa.
>>> CORRECT!
There are three bed room, two bed rooms are my children's room and the other is mine.
>>> There are three bedrooms;  two bedrooms are for my children and the other is ours.
Also, the apartment faces the south so it is very bright and sunny during the day and warm in the afternoon.
>>> CORRECT!
I spend most of my time in my computer room to study and relax.
>>> I spend most of my time in my computer room studying and relaxing.
It is very cozy and comfortable. so, I think my house is a good place to live in.
>>> CORRECT!
In the past, I lived in a small apartment, but on the other hand, I live in a large apartment now.
>>> CORRECT!
OR>>> I used to live in a small apartment.
Compared to my old house, my current house is brighter and more spacious.
>>> CORRECT!
My old house had small three bedrooms with one bathroom.
>>> CORRECT!
but now, my current house with two bathrooms and big tree rooms.
>>> But now, my current house has two bathrooms and big three rooms.
Overall, my current house is better.
>>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124324 What are you going to do on your next birthday? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-21 0
124323 How close are you to your extended family? ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-12-21 1002
124322 Do you want to complain face to face or on a phone call? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-12-21 1
124321 My feel about ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 3
124320 I will describe how petty a queen should be. ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 1196
124319 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 0
124318 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 1177
124317 My city is small but it\'s nice ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 1218
124316 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 1260
124315 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 1018
124314 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 750
124313 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 763
124312 What are your goals? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 739
124311 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 6
124310 Christmas to me means a day to play. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 864
124309 What is your opinion about tattoo? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 781
124308 homework ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 966
124307 Homework (12/20) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 1
124306 Speaking of MBTI... ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 1
124305 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04