¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Write a script answering the question: Where do you live?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¾Æ
2022-07-27 728

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I live in an apartment with my family in Hwaseong city.
There is a living room with a sofa
There are three bed room, two bed rooms are my children's room and the other is mine.
Also, the apartment faces the south so it is very bright and sunny during the day
and warm in the afternoon.
I spend most of my time in my computer room to study and relax.
It is very cozy and comfortable. so, I think my house is a good place to live.
In the past, I lived in a small apartment, but on the other hand, I live in a large apartment now.
Compared to my old house, my current house is brighter and more specious.
My old house had small three bedrooms with one bath room
but now, my current house with two bath rooms and big tree rooms.
Overall, my current house is better.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Julia!
Thank you for writing a script about your place. Please take note of the corrected sentences and practice them for our class on Friday.
Have a good afternoon!
Aki~
I live in an apartment with my family in Hwaseong city.
>>> CORRECT!
OR >>> I live with my family in an apartment in Hwaseong City.
There is a living room with a sofa.
>>> CORRECT!
There are three bed room, two bed rooms are my children's room and the other is mine.
>>> There are three bedrooms;  two bedrooms are for my children and the other is ours.
Also, the apartment faces the south so it is very bright and sunny during the day and warm in the afternoon.
>>> CORRECT!
I spend most of my time in my computer room to study and relax.
>>> I spend most of my time in my computer room studying and relaxing.
It is very cozy and comfortable. so, I think my house is a good place to live in.
>>> CORRECT!
In the past, I lived in a small apartment, but on the other hand, I live in a large apartment now.
>>> CORRECT!
OR>>> I used to live in a small apartment.
Compared to my old house, my current house is brighter and more spacious.
>>> CORRECT!
My old house had small three bedrooms with one bathroom.
>>> CORRECT!
but now, my current house with two bathrooms and big tree rooms.
>>> But now, my current house has two bathrooms and big three rooms.
Overall, my current house is better.
>>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
126072 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 682
126071 homework ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 1191
126070 Lesson 13: Homework ±è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 815
126069 In your opinion, what types of food should people consume to... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 762
126068 Do you like to go back to your team and make amends? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 1
126067 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 1
126066 What is the worst season in your country? ¹è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 1064
126065 What are your chances of getting a call from LEGO? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 1
126064 What is the first step of moving on? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 1
126063 How different are hobbies now from hobbies in the past? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 1346
126062 Throw ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 1
126061 Are you optimistic or pessimistic about artificial intelligence... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 927
126060 Homework ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 822
126059 Homework ¹è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 1112
126058 How do you support the \\ Àå*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 1122
126057 March 1st ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 2
126056 2/28 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 4
126055 homework 02-27 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 669
126054 2023-2/27 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 930
126053 Why do you think people commit crimes? ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 845

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04