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Is there any special period when tourists visit your country? How important is the tourism industry

작성자: 권*원
2022-07-26 552

회원님의 영작문

If you want to go on a trip to South Korea, you'd better come here from March to May and from September to November.
Korea is so hot in Summer and so cold in Winter. So you should avoid traveling during these periods.
In addition, most Koreans go on vacation during these periods so every cost including transportation and lodging cost gets hirer.
Especially, I recommend visiting here in March because there are many cherry blossom festivals all around Korea.
Also, the tourism industry is quite important in Korea. Koreans really like to go traveling, so traveling cost accounts for almost 6% of the average GDP. So our government has focused on enlarging domestic tourists until 2018. But as KPOP gained popularity, foreign tourist got to account for 15% of all tourists. So I think we should advertise a variety of programs to foreigners, as well. For example, we have a program called 'For Tomorrow'. If we use this program, we can use a train ticket unlimitedly.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Jiwon~ Another homework well done. I appreciate the time and effort you put into this. I hope you keep at it and I hope to travel to South Korea some day^^ Have a good night. ~Teacher Jane c",


If you want to go on a trip to South Korea, you'd better come here from March to May and from September to November. 
>> CORRECT =)
OR >> If you want to go on a trip to South Korea, you had better come here around March to May and around September to November. 

Korea is so hot in Summer and so cold in Winter. So you should avoid traveling during these periods.
>> Korea is so hot in Summer and so cold in Winter so you should avoid traveling during these periods.

In addition, most Koreans go on vacation during these periods so every cost including transportation and lodging cost gets hirer. 
>> In addition, most Koreans go on vacation during these periods so every cost including transportation and lodging cost gets higher/ cost increases. 

Especially, I recommend visiting here in March because there are many cherry blossom festivals all around Korea.
>> CORRECT =) 

Also, the tourism industry is quite important in Korea. 
>> CORRECT =)

Koreans really like to go traveling, so traveling cost accounts for almost 6% of the average GDP. 
>> CORRECT =) 

So our government has focused on enlarging domestic tourists until 2018. 
>> So our government has focused on enlarging domestic tourism until 2018. 

But as KPOP gained popularity, foreign tourist got to account for 15% of all tourists. 
>> CORRECT =) 

So I think we should advertise a variety of programs to foreigners, as well. For example, we have a program called 'For Tomorrow'. 
>> CORRECT =) 

If we use this program, we can use a train ticket unlimitedly.
>> CORRECT =) 
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