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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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Homework

작성자: 김*우
2022-07-26 476

회원님의 영작문

Hello, Donna!
Today's homework is about a sleep time.
Recently, I didn't get enough sleep, and now I have no energy.
Hence, I really want more sleep.
As all we know it, sleep can give us both physical and mental healthy.
If we don't have enough sleep for a long time, we even can't do a routine job.
So, I need more and more sleep to do a normal function.
However, if possible, I don't want to spend time to sleep.
A day is too short, and time is flying.
I'm sure that you will agree with me.
Meanwhile this is around 5 pm in Korea.
And, My clinic is closing at 7:30 pm.
There are many patients out of my room, and I also have many paperworks.
To meet my lawyer friend on time this evening, I should try to do my works as fast as I can.
And I have something to tell you.
I have to put off your class in tomorrow morning, because my friend and his son will sleep in my room.
It's so sad to me and I am so sorry about it.
I want you to know how much I expect your class everyday.
So, see you Thursday~

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good evening, Dr. Kim!

By all means, sleep early when you can. However, since you have a friend coming by your home, it is not certain if sleeping early is possible for your whole family tonight. But I hope that all of you will have a good time catching up with your friend and his son. 

Time is gold according to an old adage. People young and old, rich or poor are given 24 hours a day. It matters how we spend it. For busy people time is always short and for others, it just fleets without them noticing. Then, there's a time to rest. Human beings as well as animals need to take time to rest to restore lost energy. Therefore, grab the chance to rest whenever you can. Managing time efficiently is key to beating it rather than being slaves of it.

Good luck to your remaining tasks at work. Below are a few of my suggestions to polish your sentences. Some were underlined for your convenience. Do not worry about tomorrow's class. Kindly HOLD it to save it for another day. I will see you then on Thursday. Drive safely and have a very good night at home.

Keep safe.

-T. Donna~

Hello, Donna!
>> Correct!

Today's homework is about a sleep time.
>> Today's homework is about sleeping time.

Recently, I didn't get enough sleep, and now I have no energy.
>>  Correct!

Hence, I really want more sleep.
>> Correct!

As all we know it, sleep can give us both physical and mental healthy.
>> As we all know it, sleep can give us both physical and mental health.

If we don't have enough sleep for a long time, we even can't do a routine job.
>> Correct!

So, I need more and more sleep to do a normal function.
>> Correct!

However, if possible, I don't want to spend time to sleep.
>> Correct!

A day is too short, and time is flying.
>> Correct!

I'm sure that you will agree with me.
>> Correct!

Meanwhile this is around 5 pm in Korea.
>> Correct!

And, My clinic is closing at 7:30 pm.
>> Correct!
Or: And, my clinic is closing at 7:30 pm.

There are many patients out of my room, and I also have many paperworks.
>> Correct!

To meet my lawyer friend on time this evening, I should try to do my works as fast as I can.
>> Correct!
Or: ...to do my work...

And I have something to tell you.
>> Correct!

I have to put off your class in tomorrow morning, because my friend and his son will sleep in my room.
>> I have to put off your class tomorrow morning, because my friend and his son will sleep in my room.

It's so sad to me and I am so sorry about it.
>> It's so sad for me and I am so sorry about it.

I want you to know how much I expect your class everyday.
>> Correct!

So, see you Thursday~
>> Correct!
Or: So, see you on Thursday.
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