¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think school trips are popular?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*º°
2022-07-26 605

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes, I think school trips are popular. Whenever teachers announce my classmates school trips, my classmates always answered positively. Also, my classmates talked about what they would pack with happy face. I think that it means that they are so happy to go on a school trip. However, sometimes, my classmates don't like to go on school trips, because of place to travel. They don't like to go educative places like a museum. So, my school agonizes to select best places.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hey there, Kimberly!


Well done in writing your paragraph! It is great that you used deep vocabulary and expressions such as "agonizes" and "happy face". They add more elements to your writing.

I totally agree that school trips are popular with the students because of the chance to see new places. I hope you get to visit more exciting places on your next school trip!


See you in class^^


~ Teacher Gela


Yes, I think school trips are popular.

>> CORRECT


Whenever teachers announce my classmates school trips, my classmates always answered positively.

>> Whenever teachers announce about school trips, my classmates always answer positively.


Also, my classmates talked about what they would pack with happy face.

>> Also, my classmates talked about what they would pack with happy faces.


I think that it means that they are so happy to go on a school trip.

>>CORRECT

OR >> I think, it means that they are excited to go on a school trip.


However, sometimes, my classmates don't like to go on school trips, because of place to travel.

>> However, sometimes, my classmates don't like to go on school trips because of the places to visit.


They don't like to go educative places like a museum.

>> They don't like to go to educational places like a museum.


So, my school agonizes to select best places.

>> So my school agonizes in selecting the best places.

OR >>  So my school finds it difficult to choose the best places.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121926 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 1177
121925 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 4
121924 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 0
121923 Do you think that knowing a foreign language might encourage you... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 653
121922 Caleb\'s homework for 26 Aug 2022. ±Ç*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 1068
121921 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 800
121920 What do you think of wellness institutions and their programs? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 767
121919 The kindest person I know. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 1234
121918 homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 4
121917 homework ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 1035
121916 My dream ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 1
121915 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 2
121914 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 727
121913 Homework ±è*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 1
121912 A1. How control fatigue ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 883
121911 What does a healthy diet look like to you? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 2
121910 Do you agree that the minimum age for legally punishing... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 1068
121909 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 1129
121908 support ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 1149
121907 homework ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04