¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think school trips are popular?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*º°
2022-07-26 670

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes, I think school trips are popular. Whenever teachers announce my classmates school trips, my classmates always answered positively. Also, my classmates talked about what they would pack with happy face. I think that it means that they are so happy to go on a school trip. However, sometimes, my classmates don't like to go on school trips, because of place to travel. They don't like to go educative places like a museum. So, my school agonizes to select best places.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hey there, Kimberly!


Well done in writing your paragraph! It is great that you used deep vocabulary and expressions such as "agonizes" and "happy face". They add more elements to your writing.

I totally agree that school trips are popular with the students because of the chance to see new places. I hope you get to visit more exciting places on your next school trip!


See you in class^^


~ Teacher Gela


Yes, I think school trips are popular.

>> CORRECT


Whenever teachers announce my classmates school trips, my classmates always answered positively.

>> Whenever teachers announce about school trips, my classmates always answer positively.


Also, my classmates talked about what they would pack with happy face.

>> Also, my classmates talked about what they would pack with happy faces.


I think that it means that they are so happy to go on a school trip.

>>CORRECT

OR >> I think, it means that they are excited to go on a school trip.


However, sometimes, my classmates don't like to go on school trips, because of place to travel.

>> However, sometimes, my classmates don't like to go on school trips because of the places to visit.


They don't like to go educative places like a museum.

>> They don't like to go to educational places like a museum.


So, my school agonizes to select best places.

>> So my school agonizes in selecting the best places.

OR >>  So my school finds it difficult to choose the best places.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122570 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 1867
122569 Hi teacher! ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 2
122568 How often do I meet my friend Â÷*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 1414
122567 The most important thing school should teach children is.. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 1181
122566 What\'s the worst movie you have ever seen? Why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 1383
122565 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 1
122564 How has the pandemic affected your life? What changed in your... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 1264
122563 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 1
122562 What are some rude and insulting gestures in your country? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 1449
122561 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 1629
122560 Homework ±è*¿í ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 1822
122559 What would you like to do with your family? õ*ö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 1234
122558 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 2165
122557 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 2143
122556 Korean language supporters ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 1632
122555 09.22.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 0
122554 What month do you like the best? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 2
122553 Hello donna! ÇÑ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 0
122552 School ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1418
122551 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1206

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04