¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How important are you to your family?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Àü*ä
2022-07-26 524

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Family is most important thing to me. I think I'm very lucky person. it is because I have perfect my whole family.
They always will be my side. That give me a confidence to live the life. I feel security. And also I like my parents hometown.
It's not Seoul. There is countryside nearby the sea.
They have lived in hometown since they were kid.
And they give us special hometown and even vacation house.
After I became a adult, I think about my future family seriously.
I decide, I will make a family like my parents.
I think my goal in my life is perfect happiness.
Family can make my goal.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Eun Chae!
Thanks for sharing about your family.  You have good simple sentences, but check the corrections and be familiar with the use of articles and the right words for your sentences. ^^


~T. Maine 


Family is most important thing to me. 
>>My family is the most important people to me. 
I think I'm very lucky person. it is because I have perfect my whole family.
>>I think I'm a very lucky person because I have a completely perfect family. 
They always will be my side. 
>>They always will be at my side. 
That give me a confidence to live the life. 
>> That gives me the confidence to live my life. 
I feel security. And also I like my parents hometown.
>> I feel secure and I also like my parents' hometown.
It's not Seoul. 
>> Correct. 
There is countryside nearby the sea.
>> That is the countryside nearby the sea. 
They have lived in hometown since they were kid.
>> They have lived in their hometown since they were kids.
And they give us special hometown and even vacation house.
>>And they give us a special hometown and even a vacation house. 
After I became a adult, I think about my future family seriously.
>>After I became an adult, I think about my future family seriously. 
I decide, I will make a family like my parents.
>> I decide to make a family and be like my parents. 
I think my goal in my life is perfect happiness.
>>Correct. 
Family can make my goal.
>>Correct. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117744 Natural disaster ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-27 531
117743 What do you think is the best TV show and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-26 940
117742 I hate violent students ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-26 3
117741 What was the best thing for you this week? ÃÖ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-26 350
117740 Thank you for checking the English composition every time. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-26 366
117739 What do you think is the most dangerous eye problem? Why? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 293
117738 What do you think is the best TV show and why? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 759
117737 3/25 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 626
117736 Writing Task(Mar 23th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 801
117735 Good evening! °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 704
117734 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 663
117733 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 1
117732 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 602
117731 How old were you when you went on your first flight? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 6
117730 If I could be an animal ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 461
117729 Food I want to eat. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 350
117728 If you could edit your memories, which ones would you erase and... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 603
117727 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 304
117726 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 474
117725 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 1088

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04