¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How important are you to your family?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Àü*ä
2022-07-26 395

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Family is most important thing to me. I think I'm very lucky person. it is because I have perfect my whole family.
They always will be my side. That give me a confidence to live the life. I feel security. And also I like my parents hometown.
It's not Seoul. There is countryside nearby the sea.
They have lived in hometown since they were kid.
And they give us special hometown and even vacation house.
After I became a adult, I think about my future family seriously.
I decide, I will make a family like my parents.
I think my goal in my life is perfect happiness.
Family can make my goal.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Eun Chae!
Thanks for sharing about your family.  You have good simple sentences, but check the corrections and be familiar with the use of articles and the right words for your sentences. ^^


~T. Maine 


Family is most important thing to me. 
>>My family is the most important people to me. 
I think I'm very lucky person. it is because I have perfect my whole family.
>>I think I'm a very lucky person because I have a completely perfect family. 
They always will be my side. 
>>They always will be at my side. 
That give me a confidence to live the life. 
>> That gives me the confidence to live my life. 
I feel security. And also I like my parents hometown.
>> I feel secure and I also like my parents' hometown.
It's not Seoul. 
>> Correct. 
There is countryside nearby the sea.
>> That is the countryside nearby the sea. 
They have lived in hometown since they were kid.
>> They have lived in their hometown since they were kids.
And they give us special hometown and even vacation house.
>>And they give us a special hometown and even a vacation house. 
After I became a adult, I think about my future family seriously.
>>After I became an adult, I think about my future family seriously. 
I decide, I will make a family like my parents.
>> I decide to make a family and be like my parents. 
I think my goal in my life is perfect happiness.
>>Correct. 
Family can make my goal.
>>Correct. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119032 What is the most memorable birthday you\'ve ever had? Explain... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-16 81
119031 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-16 82
119030 bing bang theory 1 ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-16 118
119029 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-16 83
119028 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-16 1
119027 Famous ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-16 2
119026 Which is better, studying in a private school, public school or... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-05-16 1
119025 Writing Task(May 13th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-05-15 83
119024 [Homework] What factor may result in the breakdown of a good... ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-15 4
119023 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-15 54
119022 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-15 59
119021 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-15 74
119020 Do you think blind dates are a good way to meet someone special?... ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-15 97
119019 What would you do if you had to travel to a country where its... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-15 70
119018 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-15 2
119017 Which one do you think is better, living with relatives or... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-15 0
119016 If you can recommend a Korean dish to a foreigner, what would it... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-15 0
119015 What is the most memorable birthday you\'ve ever had? Explain... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-15 0
119014 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-15 78
119013 Is there something you wish you could do with your free time but... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-15 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04