¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you think can racism be stopped?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-07-26 411

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Ohhhhh... it's a tough question. I think we should only need to respect each other, but it's not a reality. And it's a serious problem, especially in the United States. After pandemic, the problem seems to have become more hateful towards Asians. And in my personal opinion, the government needs to step up and impose sanctions and strengthen the punishment.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic:) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

Ohhhhh... it's a tough question. 
>> Oh! That's a tough question. 

I think we should only need to respect each other, but it's not a reality. 
>> I think we should respect each other always but not everyone is like that. 

And it's a serious problem, especially in the United States. 
>> CORRECT

After pandemic, the problem seems to have become more hateful towards Asians. 
>> After the pandemic, the problem seems to have become more hateful towards Asians. 

And in my personal opinion, the government needs to step up and impose sanctions and strengthen the punishment. 
>>  CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123926 30.Nov.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-01 2
123925 What kind of diet or meal plan do you have? Do you plan the food... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-12-01 1039
123924 homework ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-01 1232
123923 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-12-01 0
123922 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-01 1167
123921 An office policy ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-01 2
123920 ¼÷Á¦ Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-01 1493
123919 I prayed in the name of Jesus, entrusting the beginning and end... ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-01 1060
123918 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-01 1
123917 What\'s the best way to get to the library? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-01 1
123916 What is your first reaction to problems? Do you panic/ analyze... Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-12-01 2049
123915 What do you do to improve your health nowadays? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-12-01 0
123914 11/30 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-12-01 1247
123913 The problem with traveling by airplane. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 2093
123912 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 0
123911 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 0
123910 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 2278
123909 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 1379
123908 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 1280
123907 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04