¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you think can racism be stopped?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-07-26 495

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Ohhhhh... it's a tough question. I think we should only need to respect each other, but it's not a reality. And it's a serious problem, especially in the United States. After pandemic, the problem seems to have become more hateful towards Asians. And in my personal opinion, the government needs to step up and impose sanctions and strengthen the punishment.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic:) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

Ohhhhh... it's a tough question. 
>> Oh! That's a tough question. 

I think we should only need to respect each other, but it's not a reality. 
>> I think we should respect each other always but not everyone is like that. 

And it's a serious problem, especially in the United States. 
>> CORRECT

After pandemic, the problem seems to have become more hateful towards Asians. 
>> After the pandemic, the problem seems to have become more hateful towards Asians. 

And in my personal opinion, the government needs to step up and impose sanctions and strengthen the punishment. 
>>  CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124844 Whose presence do you always enjoy being with? Àå*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 745
124843 Do you like to try local foods when you go somewhere? Have you... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 1202
124842 12.Jan.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 2
124841 1/13 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 6
124840 What can you buy in a supermarket? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 0
124839 Attachment type ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 3
124838 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-12 617
124837 Which places in the world do you think are too dangerous to... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-01-12 660
124836 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-12 0
124835 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-12 0
124834 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-12 3
124833 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-12 795
124832 If you were a politician, what policy will you make? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-12 1
124831 What birthday traditions are unique to your culture? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-12 641
124830 What are the challenges of going abroad? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-12 866
124829 My musical tates ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-12 532
124828 The reason why both men and women spend much money on beauty... ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-12 1767
124827 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-12 3
124826 homework ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-12 711
124825 What is your favorite childhood memory? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-01-12 811

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04