¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you think can racism be stopped?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-07-26 553

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Ohhhhh... it's a tough question. I think we should only need to respect each other, but it's not a reality. And it's a serious problem, especially in the United States. After pandemic, the problem seems to have become more hateful towards Asians. And in my personal opinion, the government needs to step up and impose sanctions and strengthen the punishment.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic:) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

Ohhhhh... it's a tough question. 
>> Oh! That's a tough question. 

I think we should only need to respect each other, but it's not a reality. 
>> I think we should respect each other always but not everyone is like that. 

And it's a serious problem, especially in the United States. 
>> CORRECT

After pandemic, the problem seems to have become more hateful towards Asians. 
>> After the pandemic, the problem seems to have become more hateful towards Asians. 

And in my personal opinion, the government needs to step up and impose sanctions and strengthen the punishment. 
>>  CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125584 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 1
125583 Please describe your home. ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 942
125582 What did you do today? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 1000
125581 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 0
125580 2/13 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 827
125579 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 0
125578 What¡¯s your favorite time of day? Why? ¹è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 957
125577 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 1
125576 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 1
125575 homework Æí*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 1
125574 Do nothing ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 2
125573 It is responsibility of parents for chlidren to become... ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 793
125572 What would you need to do to be happy? ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 1008
125571 How do you start your day? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 972
125570 Which country do you wish to visit, and why? Àå*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 930
125569 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 1
125568 [Homework] What is the most famous festival in your country? ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 2
125567 Family ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 2
125566 2/13 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 5
125565 What did you do last weekend? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04