¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you think can racism be stopped?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-07-26 576

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Ohhhhh... it's a tough question. I think we should only need to respect each other, but it's not a reality. And it's a serious problem, especially in the United States. After pandemic, the problem seems to have become more hateful towards Asians. And in my personal opinion, the government needs to step up and impose sanctions and strengthen the punishment.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic:) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

Ohhhhh... it's a tough question. 
>> Oh! That's a tough question. 

I think we should only need to respect each other, but it's not a reality. 
>> I think we should respect each other always but not everyone is like that. 

And it's a serious problem, especially in the United States. 
>> CORRECT

After pandemic, the problem seems to have become more hateful towards Asians. 
>> After the pandemic, the problem seems to have become more hateful towards Asians. 

And in my personal opinion, the government needs to step up and impose sanctions and strengthen the punishment. 
>>  CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125847 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 0
125846 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 983
125845 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 2
125844 How many months are there in a year? Can you name them? ¹è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 930
125843 Lesson 10: Homework ±è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 665
125842 How do people\'s goals change from country to country? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1547
125841 Thank you teacher! ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 836
125840 Changing name ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1
125839 If you could change one law it your country, what would it be... Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1314
125838 Do you think it is possible for a cold hearted person to change Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1535
125837 What are you strengths and weaknesses? Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 765
125836 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1
125835 What did you do before and don¡¯t now? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 715
125834 Do you think that childcare centers will give more benefits than... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 3
125833 My ideal job, and company. ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 929
125832 Talk about learning skills ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 2
125831 2/21 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1
125830 Fresh fruit ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 996
125829 What do you like about your smartphone? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 0
125828 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04