¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think having a pet is good? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-07-25 517

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, having a pet is good to us for some reasons.
First, we spend a lot of time to our pets, and that means that we love them.
If we love something, then we are able to grow our abilities related to emotions.
Second, we are not lonely.
Some people might think that they are too lonely, but if they have a pet, they won't.
And third, it is a good experience because we can feel a lot of things by taking care of our pets.
Because of these reasons, I think having a pet is one of good experiences.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my opinion, having a pet is good to us for some reasons.
>> CORRECT

First, we spend a lot of time to our pets, and that means that we love them.
>> 
First, we spend a lot of time with our pets, which shows that we love them. 

If we love something, then we are able to grow our abilities related to emotions.
>> If we love something, we will be able to grow emotionally. 

Second, we are not lonely.
>> Second, we won't be lonely.

Some people might think that they are too lonely, but if they have a pet, they won't.
>> Some people might think that they are too lonely, but if they have a pet, they won't be anymore. 

And third, it is a good experience because we can feel a lot of things by taking care of our pets.
>> Third, it can be a good experience for us to take care of pets. 

Because of these reasons, I think having a pet is one of good experiences.
>> Because of these reasons, I think having a pet is one the best experiences. 


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122768 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 1
122767 My style ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 1
122766 What do you think of cosmetic surgery? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 2347
122765 What can you say about foreign students staying in South Korea... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 2086
122764 Hello ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 3297
122763 free ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 1884
122762 Is cancer a health problem concern for most people in your... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 0
122761 What is your opinion about the exposure of children on... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 2852
122760 10.03.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 2
122759 10/4 ¼Û*ö ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 2077
122758 What winter sports do you know? Have you done any? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 3
122757 Smoke ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-03 2214
122756 How do you see yourself 10 years from now? Kindly answer in not... ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-03 2
122755 10/3 À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-10-03 2379
122754 What do you regret doing and want to apologize for? ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-03 2
122753 How do you start your day? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-10-03 1745
122752 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-03 1978
122751 How can make children have habit to eat healthy food? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-03 0
122750 Do you think smoking will ever disappear? Explain your answer. ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-03 1650
122749 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-03 2076

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04