¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think having a pet is good? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-07-25 788

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, having a pet is good to us for some reasons.
First, we spend a lot of time to our pets, and that means that we love them.
If we love something, then we are able to grow our abilities related to emotions.
Second, we are not lonely.
Some people might think that they are too lonely, but if they have a pet, they won't.
And third, it is a good experience because we can feel a lot of things by taking care of our pets.
Because of these reasons, I think having a pet is one of good experiences.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my opinion, having a pet is good to us for some reasons.
>> CORRECT

First, we spend a lot of time to our pets, and that means that we love them.
>> 
First, we spend a lot of time with our pets, which shows that we love them. 

If we love something, then we are able to grow our abilities related to emotions.
>> If we love something, we will be able to grow emotionally. 

Second, we are not lonely.
>> Second, we won't be lonely.

Some people might think that they are too lonely, but if they have a pet, they won't.
>> Some people might think that they are too lonely, but if they have a pet, they won't be anymore. 

And third, it is a good experience because we can feel a lot of things by taking care of our pets.
>> Third, it can be a good experience for us to take care of pets. 

Because of these reasons, I think having a pet is one of good experiences.
>> Because of these reasons, I think having a pet is one the best experiences. 


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127549 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 2
127548 favorite day ¹Ú*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 1014
127547 If parensts set a proper guideline, children who are elemantary... ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 3
127546 What is your favorite color and why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 1380
127545 Do you like seafood? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 0
127544 What are the things that you can\'t share? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 0
127543 Define a superhero. ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 0
127542 My weekend ÃÖ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 847
127541 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 0
127540 homework 04.17 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 1135
127539 What comes to mind when you hear the word ¡®socialism¡¯? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 4
127538 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 0
127537 What talent do you wish you¡¯d have? ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 1
127536 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 0
127535 If you were a billionaire what will you do with your money? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 0
127534 Would you prefer to live in a really old historical city, or a... ±è*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 982
127533 Monday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 980
127532 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 2
127531 How has the global pandemic affected the employment market in... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 1614
127530 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 842

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04