¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think having a pet is good? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-07-25 443

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, having a pet is good to us for some reasons.
First, we spend a lot of time to our pets, and that means that we love them.
If we love something, then we are able to grow our abilities related to emotions.
Second, we are not lonely.
Some people might think that they are too lonely, but if they have a pet, they won't.
And third, it is a good experience because we can feel a lot of things by taking care of our pets.
Because of these reasons, I think having a pet is one of good experiences.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my opinion, having a pet is good to us for some reasons.
>> CORRECT

First, we spend a lot of time to our pets, and that means that we love them.
>> 
First, we spend a lot of time with our pets, which shows that we love them. 

If we love something, then we are able to grow our abilities related to emotions.
>> If we love something, we will be able to grow emotionally. 

Second, we are not lonely.
>> Second, we won't be lonely.

Some people might think that they are too lonely, but if they have a pet, they won't.
>> Some people might think that they are too lonely, but if they have a pet, they won't be anymore. 

And third, it is a good experience because we can feel a lot of things by taking care of our pets.
>> Third, it can be a good experience for us to take care of pets. 

Because of these reasons, I think having a pet is one of good experiences.
>> Because of these reasons, I think having a pet is one the best experiences. 


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121309 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-03 642
121308 Talk about how technology has changed in your lifetime. ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-03 320
121307 Adventures I want to enjoy ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-08-03 520
121306 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-03 700
121305 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-03 1
121304 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-03 6
121303 Do you think newspapers will disappear in the future? Why or why... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-03 317
121302 Tell me about your favorite movie and who you usually watch... ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-03 1084
121301 What writing skills do you need to be able to write well? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-08-03 981
121300 homework Á¶*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-03 239
121299 How important are first impressions to you? Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-03 720
121298 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-03 485
121297 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-03 4
121296 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-03 1
121295 answer ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-03 749
121294 What do you like to eat in your favorite restaurant? ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-03 1120
121293 Do you agree that you can never be too old to start something... Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-03 3
121292 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-03 329
121291 08.02.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-03 1
121290 Describe your social media life ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-03 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04