¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

An answer to the topic \"Why do some people save money and some people don\'t?\" ^_^

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*À²
2022-07-23 782

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Some people don't save money because for the children's side, they do chores and save money for (for example) Pokemon cards & sweets. But for the adult's side, they don't save money. Adults have to buy their chidren clothes, food, and stuff! But sure, the may be some children who don't save money like me and some adults who save money. As the result, saving money or not denpends on your choice!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Heather! I appreciate that you find time to do your homework. Keep practicing in order to enhance your writing skills. ~T. Lyn
Some people don't save money because for the children's side, they do chores and save money for (for example) Pokemon cards & sweets. 
>>Some people can't save money because they need to use it for their children such as giving them money as a reward when they do the chores or buying them some Pokemon cards and anything sweets.
But for the adult's side, they don't save money.
>>On the adult's side, it is hard to save money.
Adults have to buy their chidren clothes, food, and stuff! 
>>They have to buy children's clothes, food, and stuff.
But sure, the may be some children who don't save money like me and some adults who save money.
>>There are children like me who don't save money and there are adults who do.
As the result, saving money or not denpends on your choice!
>>As a result, whether you save money is up to you!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123275 sensitive ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 1563
123274 Women are more emotional than men. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 1837
123273 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 0
123272 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 0
123271 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 1652
123270 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 0
123269 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 2
123268 Homework ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 1928
123267 How\'s the weather today? Is it normal for this time of year? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 2089
123266 Can people change their personality if they want to? Do you know... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 2506
123265 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 0
123264 Use these words in sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 2967
123263 They are allergic to the 21st century. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 2192
123262 What are some topics that you can\'t stand to talk about? Why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 1475
123261 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 1872
123260 WRITING TASK: How do you carry out your busy day? ¾È*Çå ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 2028
123259 we must ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 3523
123258 woman suffrage ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 1377
123257 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 0
123256 Jeju ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 1953

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04