¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

An answer to the topic \"Why do some people save money and some people don\'t?\" ^_^

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*À²
2022-07-23 870

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Some people don't save money because for the children's side, they do chores and save money for (for example) Pokemon cards & sweets. But for the adult's side, they don't save money. Adults have to buy their chidren clothes, food, and stuff! But sure, the may be some children who don't save money like me and some adults who save money. As the result, saving money or not denpends on your choice!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Heather! I appreciate that you find time to do your homework. Keep practicing in order to enhance your writing skills. ~T. Lyn
Some people don't save money because for the children's side, they do chores and save money for (for example) Pokemon cards & sweets. 
>>Some people can't save money because they need to use it for their children such as giving them money as a reward when they do the chores or buying them some Pokemon cards and anything sweets.
But for the adult's side, they don't save money.
>>On the adult's side, it is hard to save money.
Adults have to buy their chidren clothes, food, and stuff! 
>>They have to buy children's clothes, food, and stuff.
But sure, the may be some children who don't save money like me and some adults who save money.
>>There are children like me who don't save money and there are adults who do.
As the result, saving money or not denpends on your choice!
>>As a result, whether you save money is up to you!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118625 Active ½É*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 94
118624 What is your definition of success and why? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 174
118623 about spending time with others È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 123
118622 How can we prevent crime from happening? ±è*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 101
118621 Calling ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 10
118620 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 86
118619 What do you like best about spring? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 1
118618 What is your worst experience in life that you can\'t forget?... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 0
118617 2022.4.28 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 86
118616 Should you give your best on your first day of work in your... ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 130
118615 What other language do you want to learn to speak? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 1
118614 What is your definition of success and failure in life? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 126
118613 Writing Task(Apr 29th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 94
118612 82/4 krowemoh ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 113
118611 What are the five most important things you should take on a... ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 147
118610 In your viewpoint, what are the advantages and disadvantages of... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 109
118609 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 1
118608 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 0
118607 hello Çö*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 61
118606 Right? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-28 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04