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서비스 입니다.

homework

작성자: 김*우
2022-07-23 362

회원님의 영작문

Good evening, Donna!
I am sorry for being late.
I am totally burned out, because there were lots of works today.
We actually have a plan to move our hospital to a new place.
Maybe I think this is the first time that I told you about it.
It will be scheduled in January, 2023.
Hence, we have to prepare many things such as money, interior, education of staffs, and etc.
Also, as you know it, we have new members of our Franchise, so we should help them as much as we can.
Besides, there were so many clients who are sensitive in the clinic today.
In short, I went through a tough day.
Back to the homework, the best achievement in my life is that I have a good family.
We really love each other.
The best precious thing in the world is love of family.
And, I have another small achievement.
In my school age, I always didn't enough money, so I always got some delicious foods from my friends for free.
Now, I am not rich, but I have money to buy any foods for my friends.
Isn't it funny?
Bon weekend~

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good evening, Dr. Kim!

My evaluation is rather late too, I had a very long weekend due to my planned activities, apologies. Anyway, since your franchise is expanding, it is expected that your team will have a hectic time developing systems to do your service and business. This is the good kind of busy. I hope that you can cope with the exhilarating weeks of hard work ahead.

Now, family is the best gift in life. If we have a smooth relationship with all of the members, we must be so lucky. Of course, it's not always as smooth as we want it because it needs constant hard work  an effort. Regarding your ability to treat your friends when hanging out, they say that life is a wheel. It turns and now is the time when you are on top. I hope that it stays that way for a long time.

You are on your way to create more goals in the future. Choose well as you always do everyday and make good decisions. All these will collectively lead the path to their realization. Excellent job on your homework!

See you then.

-T. Donna~

Good evening, Donna!
>> Correct!

I am sorry for being late.
>> Correct!

I am totally burned out, because there were lots of works today.
>> Correct!
Or: ...lots of work today.

We actually have a plan to move our hospital to a new place.
>> Correct!

Maybe I think this is the first time that I told you about it.
>> Correct!

It will be scheduled in January, 2023.
>> Correct!

Hence, we have to prepare many things such as money, interior, education of staffs, and etc.
>> Hence, we have to prepare many things such as money, interior, education of staffs, (etc./ and many other things).

Also, as you know it, we have new members of our Franchise, so we should help them as much as we can.
>> Also, as you know it, we have new members in our franchise, so we should help them as much as we can.

Besides, there were so many clients who are sensitive in the clinic today.
>> Correct!

In short, I went through a tough day.
>> Correct!

Back to the homework, the best achievement in my life is that I have a good family.
>> Correct!
Or: Back to the homework, the best achievement in my life is having a good family.

We really love each other.
>> Correct!

The best precious thing in the world is love of family.
>> The best precious thing in the world is the love from the family.

And, I have another small achievement.
>> Correct!

In my school age, I always didn't enough money, so I always got some delicious foods from my friends for free.
>> During my school age, I always didn't have enough money, so I always got some delicious foods from my friends for free.

Now, I am not rich, but I have money to buy any foods for my friends.
>> Correct!

Isn't it funny?
>> Correct!

Bon weekend~
>> Correct!
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