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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

For you, what makes one person more attractive than another?

작성자: 김*경
2022-07-21 348

회원님의 영작문

I think personality can make one person more attractive than others. Let's think about a beautiful woman with bad personality. She has a short fuse and a foul mouth. How can you say that she is beautiful? Never!
Let me put it another way. Let's think about a ugly woman. However, she has class and is so easy going that she is popular. She has a magnetic personality. I would say an ugly woman with good personality is more attractive than a gorgeous woman with bad temper.

Besides personality, a good appearance could make one person more attractive. Outer appearance is sure to be a striking point that we usually remember about others. Maintaining and improving our appearance is a good way to make ourselves more attractive. Therefore, I see many businessmen getting dressed when they meet customers to enhance their impressions which can help lead to successful businesses.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Happy Friday, Steve! ^^,)

"Beauty is subjective and should not be limited to only what we see on the outside."

I definitely agree with you opinion, Steve. Thank you for answering you homework.
I have made some modifications. If you have queries, we can discuss them later in class.

Enjoy the rest of your day!

__Teacher Mayleen :)


I think personality can make one person more attractive than others.
>>> CORRECT
Let's think about a beautiful woman with bad personality.
>>> Let's think about a beautiful woman with a bad personality.
She has a short fuse and a foul mouth.
>>> CORRECT
>>> OR: She has a quick temper and an unpleasant tongue.
How can you say that she is beautiful? Never!
>>> CORRECT
>>> OR: How is it possible to call her beautiful? Never!
Let me put it another way. Let's think about a ugly woman.
>>> Let me put it another way. Let's think about an ugly woman.
However, she has class and is so easy going that she is popular.
>>> CORRECT [However, she has class and is so easy-going that she is popular.]
She has a magnetic personality.
>>> CORRECT
I would say an ugly woman with good personality is more attractive than a gorgeous woman with bad temper.
>>> I would say an ugly woman with a good personality is more attractive than a gorgeous woman with a bad temper.

Besides personality, a good appearance could make one person more attractive.
>>> Besides personality, a good appearance could make a person more attractive.
Outer appearance is sure to be a striking point that we usually remember about others.
>>> The outer appearance is sure to be a striking point that we usually remember about others.
Maintaining and improving our appearance is a good way to make ourselves more attractive.
>>> CORRECT
Therefore, I see many businessmen getting dressed when they meet customers to enhance their impressions which can help lead to successful businesses.
>>> Therefore, I see many businessmen getting dressed when they meet customers to enhance their impressions, which can help lead to successful business.
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